Hated (a ThatcherJoe fan fiction)

Chapter 40- Rough Edges

After several games of FIFA we decided it was time to head off. "It's been great meeting you guys"
"You too man, come by whenever"
Whilst Corey was talking to Joe, Caspar pulled me aside. "Did you say he was looking for a place to live?"
"Yeah he's staying with me for a bit whilst I help him."
"Why doesn't he move in with us?"
"Seriously? Like you would do that?"
"Yeah he's just as great as you, I'm sure it'd be great. I'll talk to Joe about it then we can talk to him about it."
"Thanks Cornelius, you're the best" I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek then went back to Corey and Joe. "Bye" he gave me a hug. Every hug I got from Joe was like he thought it'd be our last. We walked back to the apartment and I saw 5 boys heading in a similar direction. "JESSIE!"
I realised it was the Janoskians. Jai didn't exactly look at me as they dragged him over. "Right dickhead, are you gonna apologise?" Beau said to Jai.
"Yeah, fuck off then I will!" He snapped at him. I turned to Corey. "Corey this is James, Daniel, Jai, Luke and Beau go make yourself welcome for a sec please whilst I talk to Jai."
He shrugged and went over to them shooting a glare at Jai. Obviously he didn't think much of him at this point in time.
"Jess, I'm sorry for what I did, I don't want to lose you but I don't know how long I can keep this up without it being ripped apart."
"I don't think you understand, you can't just keep me waiting all the time. Make your mind up and choose for yourself, management can't decide for you..."
"I just can't okay?! Doing tours and projects is hard enough! You don't know the stress that I'm under so it's not all about this relationship okay?!"
"I WASN'T SAYING THAT! I know that you're busy which is why I respected the fact that you probably couldn't see me! This relationship has its rough edges okay, but I need to know rather than having a broken heart."
"I CAME TO LONDON FOR YOU! I COULD BE OUT EVERY NIGHT BUT I'M NOT FOR YOU!"
"Well then if you cared so much you'd trust me instead of accusing me of cheating. You wouldn't lie to me and the decision wouldn't be this hard..."
Tears started flowing down my cheeks. "I'm sorry, seriously Jess it's just hard that I know you don't love me like you love your friends."
"It's hard to love someone when you don't know what love is"
I wiped my cheeks. "Just give me time..."
"Fine, but don't expect me to wait forever."
I went to walk towards the rest of the guys when they noticed I'd been crying. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Beau said like he was angry.
"Nothing! It's not my fault she started crying!"
"Corey, let's go..."
Before they could say anything else I walked away with Corey. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's just getting on my nerves that I have to wait for him when it'll probably end up with me being heartbroken."
"If you want to end it, don't wait for him do it yourself."
'If you don't make the decision then I will xxx'
'What are you trying to say? Xxx'
'That I don't know how much more of this I can take xxx'
He didn't respond after that and we went into the apartment. "Guess who's back bitches?!!"
"Jessica..."
"Mum?! What are you doing here?!"
"I came to see Corey, he said he was only interested in seeing his sister so I thought I'd come here to see him..."
"So you only care about him, you didn't even go to your own daughters funeral and you expect to just walk in here and see him!!"
"He's my son I can do what I like!"
Corey looked partly annoyed like he was gonna blow any second. "Get out! I don't want to see you!"
"Corey, I've missed out on everything please..."
"NO! It's your fault that you sent me away! I lived through hell because of you!"
"If it wasn't for us finding you you'd still be living through it!"
Corey walked off into my bedroom and slammed the door. "Leave..."
"Why do my children hate me?!"
"Because look what you've put us through!"
She walked out and I quickly went to see Corey. "Is she gone?"
"Yeah"
"Sorry for slamming the door"
"It's fine, she pisses me off too"
'Joe said once we know Corey a bit more he can move in with us! Xx'
'Thank you both so much, he's gonna be staying at mine for the time being so you can hang out whenever xx'
We went back out to see Gabby, Hobbie and Chai. "Who let her in?"
"I didn't know who she was, I opened the door and she paraded in here demanding to see her son. We did everything we could to try and get her to leave..."
"It's fine guys I'm not mad at any of you just her. She didn't even go to her own daughters funeral and gave her son up for adoption and only bothered to try and find him when he was 21."
We sat down and started talking about everything and anything until Corey come out with a question which took me by surprise. "Why were you supposedly one of the most hated people on the Internet?"
At first I didn't know what to say but over the year I sort of realised why. "Because I was growing massively in very little time of starting and made my first video a collab with lots of big YouTubers it was seen that I was using them. People thought I was sleeping around with different guys and that I was attention seeking. I started dating Joe and becoming friends with more and more YouTubers people found it suspicious because I was a nobody who became somebody everyone knew. When me and Joe broke people said I faked the relationship for more attention and more subscribers. With the Internet growing wildly the media caught the attention I had been getting. People said for videos that weren't even good I didn't deserve the amount of subscribers I had. I was also friends with 5SOS all of a sudden and it just made everyone think I had some sort of plan and that I wanted them to fall into my trap. I tried making videos about it but they classed as attention seeking. There's a point where I realise why they think that but I haven't been doing that."
Gabby, Chai and Hobbie also looked quite shocked as I had never openly spoken to anyone about it. "Some people on the Internet will do anything to drag people down..." Gabby said.
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine"
"I'm gonna head back to my apartment and I'll sort out the contract then I'll pack and come back."
"Ok that's fine, are you sure you don't want to stay tonight?"
"The quicker I get back the quicker it's sorted out. If I can get it done quickly I'll be back tomorrow but I don't know if that's possible."
I gave him a hug and he left. Chai was setting up his camera so I guessed they were filming a YouTube video. "Howdy guys how are you doing my name is Chai and today I'm joined with Gabby and Hobbie and Jessie Green."
I looked at him wide eyed. "Jessica, you're being in this video because you shouldn't be afraid anymore you're my best friend and I want to have you in videos so get your arse over here and sit with us."
I remembered what Corey said and decided to sit down. "I haven't done this in a year..."
"So today we're doing a Q & A because I didn't have any ideas of what to do with you"
We went through a lot of questions and then one came up which I didn't expect. "Can Jessie start her YouTube again? I miss her angelic voice"
"Who's that from?"
"@MyNamesJessie"
"My brother said that to me earlier and I've been thinking about it so please tweet me if you would like me to."
"Seriously? I've missed your videos so much and we never got to collab!"
"Ok Gabb we can collab but I'll keep it down with them."
We finished the video. "So are you actually gonna start your YouTube again?"
"Maybe, maybe in the next month but I'm really not sure."
For the moment I'd been working from the apartment doing things for people online. "I think you should"
Our conversation was interrupted when my phone started ringing. It was Jai. "Hey"
"Jess, I need to you to be honest with me"
"Ok"
"Do you love me?"
"Jai, I don't fall in love easily and I can't say that I love you I'm sorry"
"You love Caspar"
"Caspar is my best friend, I also love Chai, Gabby, Sam and Connor because they are my best friends. What we have isn't love Jai..."
"So what is this relationship then?"
"I don't see you often and we've been so torn apart how can I tell if what we have is love? I gave you an option so take it or leave it. But if you're gonna take it don't leave me hanging like this"
"I'm jealous okay?! I'm jealous that I can't find a way for you to love me. I'm jealous that there's nothing I can do to be like Joe. I know that he made you feel ways I could never imagine just by his words. I'm jealous that I haven't got what you want and other people do!"
"Jai! Are you being serious right now? You're jealous of my friends?! I had a decision and I chose you yet I still get accused. Every time we see each other we argue and I don't know how long I can keep this going..."
"I love you and you don't love me. What am I supposed to do?"
"Go with your heart"
A/N:
I'm sorry it's been so long. Chapters won't be published as frequently because I can't find the time to write them. At the moment I am going into the dark place I was in two years ago and I'm trying to stop that. I've gone back to school and I hate every second I'm there. Please vote, comment and keep reading. Thank you!