How to Survive South Park

Sibling Wars Part 3 - Nooooo, Canadaaaaa

The castle belonging to the Prince and Princess of Canada is here and we pass by a bunch of Canadians while heading there with them giving us a bit of insight into what our quest is probably going to be about.

"Have you heard the NFL might bring an expansion team to Canada? Then we'll be a REAL country!"

"If you ask me, the Prince is crazy! The last thing Canada needs is an NFL expansion team!"

"...So you think 'NFL' is another villain group acronym, or like, the actual NFL?" Tricia asks.

"You mean the National Football League? I mean... that would be pretty stupid, but that probably just makes the option more likely."

"Right?"

New Kid doesn't give a third opinion. The guy stays silent like always does.

Instead, he enters literally every house we pass by looking for loot to take. Looks like we're traveling with a completionist-style New Kid.

Well, Dovah did say that we should keep our eyes peeled for benefits. Going the extra mile is what got him so powerful to begin with; maybe there's stuff here that can help us.

The three of us steal from cabinets, break open vases, and walk in on a naked Canadian couple having sex.

"Get out!" "Eek! Get out!" "...Oops."

Normal people would probably be traumatized, but considering the hellhole of a house I was stuck living in for like two decades before Kenny and I moved into Dovah's place... yeah.

As for Tricia and New Kid, they clearly couldn't care less too. New Kid especially, but that isn't surprising considering what he probably went through last night.

(A/N: The Underpants Gnome fight on his parents bed while his parents were fucking. And that's on top of all the new shit he had to deal with in the expanded Night 2 questline. Poor guy.)

"Have you seen my daughter? She went to pick up flowers outside the city walls - I fear for her!"

...Wow. We haven't even started the main quest yet and already got a random side quest.

This is gonna take a while, isn't it?

New Kid probably makes a mental note to handle that later and walks up to the front of the castle where a Canadian Guard stops us.

"Halt! This is the castle of Canada! Only those who hold the highest level government clearances are allowed in! All others must pay six Canadian dollars."

"Okay, here." Tricia says while handing him a 20 dollar bill from her wallet.

"This isn't money! It's all green and stupid! Come back with Canadian Money!"

"...How about instead, I shove this 'not money' up your Canadian a-"

"No, Trish!"

To the Bank of Canada we go! Good thing that's also in Ottawa.

The three of us take a quick detour there and back with Tricia grumbling about 'something something sticking the Monopoly Money your country calls currency up your ass something something' and New Kid exchanges enough money at the bank to get us all tour tickets at the castle.

"Ahhh, yes. Lovely colorful Canadian Cash. I shall escort you to the Prince and Princess where you can get a photo as part of your six dollar tour fee."

Cut to inside the castle where we talk to the couple ruling Canada (after New Kid breaks a few more vases to get stuff without any guards noticing somehow).