How to Survive South Park

Experiments

"Member the anal probe?"

"Member how Stan used to puke on Wendy all the time?"

"Yeah! Yeah! Member when she killed Miss Ellen?"

"Yeah, I remember. That scared the shit out of me when I first saw that episode."

Timmy finally managed to get his hands on some member berries for the final timefart power in TFBW and I may have sampled a few out of curiosity. It's like you're feeling high as a kite and super nostalgic at the same time.

"Oh man, I have no idea what's happening right now, but do you guys remember if I had a kid or not? I'm like 35% sure I have one... no wait, 36%."

"Yeah, member when you went to rehab?"

"Oh, I member." Towelie is here too somehow but he's handing out free weed so I don't mind.

(("Yup, just as I thought. These things are affecting his brain both short and long term. It's nothing I can't use my powers to undo but not everyone has a telepath for a doctor.")) Timmy and Kenny already know about the member berries' plan and how they affect people from looking through my memories and are now trying to make a cure for the permanent brainwashing-esc effects just in case.

The plan we came up with involves working with the member berries to an extent but it's always good to have a few backup plans ready.

This is just one of the many experiments the three of us have been working on lately. From messing around with alien tech to taking a deeper look into our powers, Kenny, Timmy, and I have worked on tons of projects over the years I've been here.

Getting the other ingredients for the Chocolate Memberito wasn't too difficult. Asking nicely was all it took for Ms. Cartman to make some Double Stuffed Brownies. Her kid wasn't too thrilled about it but who cares about Cartman, am I right?

As for Cartman himself, he started getting on the Social Justice bandwagon more and more lately and I'm pretty sure he already has a few 'Tolkien's Life Matters' shirts. Fun fact, Tolkien's name here has actually been Token the entire time. I guess that retcon isn't happening until season 25 like in the show.

As for when I actually ate the 'dish', I immediately gave the power a try. I was curious to see if I would get a past version of 'me' me or a past version of the original New Kid. I assumed it would be the latter since while the definition on the game wiki says it summons your past self here, that past self the game refers to should be during the time before they move to South Park.

I became the New Kid the day he moved to South Park so with that logic in mind, the past me I'm summoning should be the original mute New Kid, right? However, logic isn't exactly something in abundance in South Park so I can't know for sure until I try it.

I use the ability and a kid who looks exactly like me is summoned a few feet away. He's a little smaller than me and is wearing red pajamas but other than that, he's like a carbon copy of me.

"Ummm, hi. Do you talk at all?" I ask him and he just gives me a blank stare. Yup, he's the original New Kid.

(("It seems like your first theory was correct. Now let's try out the second one. Dovahkiin from the past, do you perhaps feel like you have any 'powers' of sorts? Like being able to summon or create things?"))

In TFBW, the past New Kid you can summon has all the current ones' abilities. Past New Kid can also only be summoned for a short time but exactly how long that is and if anything affects it are experiments to do later. We have plenty of time to do this so it's best to be thorough with testing instead of rushing through it.

Past New Kid summons purple flames a few seconds later so that is another similarity to the game. We have him cycle through all my powers and he eventually disappears after about 5 minutes.