How to Survive South Park

So the Son of Satan and Some Priests are at a Birthday Party...

"I think I heard this joke before."

"This isn't a setup for a joke. Look over there." I point to where one of the priests in the "clean up crew" shown in season 22's "A Boy and A Priest" is using the 'Kumby' (a backpack machine that is meant to wipe away exactly what you think it wipes away) on Damien's mouth. This isn't gonna end well.

Sure enough, the antichrist's eyes glow red as the Kumby implodes before crumbling into dust and the priest explodes from an Unholy Combustion.

"And people call us sinners." Damien grumbles as he walks away to get more cake.

It's Clyde's birthday right now and just like in canon, Butters brought Father Maxi along and some other priests were right behind him to clean up the supposed mess he would make.

Now should I change this episode? Eh, they should be fine.

"So I said, "Dark matter? More like DORK matter!" and you should've seen the look on Timmy's face!"

"FUCKING BRILLIANT! HAHAHAHHA!"

(("I hate this."))

Things were fine for the 10 minutes of party time before the "clean up crew" arrived. Me, Clyde, and the rest of Team Craig were eating cake and listening to Clyde ask random brain-melting Clydeish questions such as "If I eat ass, does that mean I'm a cannibal?" and "If you microwave a microwave with a taco inside, would the taco heat up twice as fast?"

The sheer idiocy of them always keeps my mind swirling in the vast abyss of pure unadulterated disbelief for days on end and I know the same goes for all the other team members, even Kenny. Hell, Stan looks like he would rather be shot again right now then listen to another thought from Clyde.

Yes, he was still one of the kids shot in the first episode of Season 22. He got hit in the shoulder this time too but Kenny healed him at Hell's Pass Hospital a few hours later.

Then the other priests arrived and while Damien was nice enough to blow up one for us, the other two continued with their "clean up" like in canon.

It doesn't take long for Clyde to lose his shit and threaten to call the police which gets them out of there. He's pretty sour over the intrusion and Tolkien, Jimmy, and I help cheer him up by imitating the rollerskate disco scene from Family Guy with him which drives Cartman even more insane.

It took a bit for him to understand the reference (how do you understand the reference if you 'supposedly' haven't seen the original clip, Cartman?), but when he did, he let out a noise that could only be described as demonic.

This helps cheer Clyde up immensely and we enjoy the rest of the party. Nothing too crazy (in South Park standards) happens after the priests get kicked out which I'm perfectly fine with. I stopped being a fan of parties on the more chaotic side a bit before I was isekai'd here when my roommate got stabbed at one with a ceramic plate shard after he accidentally bumped into some drunk dude wandering around with a plate full of brownies.

The guy got so fucking mad after the plate fell and broke, he picked up one of the shards and stabbed my roomate in the chest with it. He ended up going to the hospital and was (mostly) fine after about a week.

That can be considered crazy in my old reality. Crazy in South Park is a hundred times more crazy than that at the bare minimum (with it jumping to 1000 times more whenever Team Stan is involved). Parties for fucking 10 year olds here in my second life can easily become far more crazy then any party I've been at during high school and college in my first life.

I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything else when things like underpants gnomes, mecha kaiju celebrities, and eldritch gods exist in my second life.