How to Survive South Park

Tenorman's Revenge Part 4 - Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

"You may notice the crane hanging precariously over your dear friend Butters' little home."

"Butters? Pfft, dude fuck Butters."

"Shut up Cartman, this is serious!"

"I am serious, Kyle."

"His life is in your hands. Hurry now, hahahaha." Not gonna lie, I'm not exactly in a rush to save Butters.

Now while some people might think I'm being unnecessarily cruel towards other versions of him, you try having your entire life plus the lives of your friends and family ruined by someone and not feel a little lingering hatred for that person if you see them, even if they are a different version of that person.

The junkyard is the next spot we've been going through and we finally got some sleep (after fighting for like 20 hours straight) on some old mattresses which, out of everyone in Team Stan, only Kenny didn't complain about.

We ended up just exchanging a few random stories involving our crazy-ass lives until the team of main protagonists fell asleep. It was a relaxing change of pace when compared to fighting endless waves of gingerbots and mutant chimeras covered in asses.

"So when my timeline's Kenny and I arrived at the outback, we went on a tour where Kenny decided to say out loud that he was expecting everyone who lives here to be wearing fedoras and camo gear.

We got called some words that I didn't even know were legal to say anymore and were left stranded for three days, waiting for something cool to happen. We eventually got picked up by a little red plane that was being piloted by a fat sasquatch who became Kenny's go-to international drug dealer."

"He sounds like a better pilot than Lu Kim ever was."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the guy snorted like half the petrol he brought to fuel the thing before picking us up and according to Kenny, he was still a better pilot than Lu Kim."

(A/N: Season 7 Episode 15 "It's Christmas in Canada". Lu Kim was right to call his 'Shitty Airlines' the wrong choice for air travel. Kenny was right to assume that he was going to die again mid-flight.)

While I don't really need much rest thanks to my enhancements, the others are a completely different story. I just used the time to practice some new abilities and take a look at my current body thanks to some reports from T.K.

I also made some more plans for the future because this adventure isn't going to last forever. After seeing what the New Kid in the first timeline I traveled to did with his 'King' class powers, I decided to go and play Stick of Truth again, only this time, I'll be sticking to the script a lot more than I did the first time around.

Once I become king and get that arsenal of abilities, I'll head on over to Imaginationland and abuse the living hell out of it like Butters did.

Speaking of, we managed to save him from getting crushed by junk and found Tenorman's own tower to Heaven soon after. This is another one of the main things I wanted from this journey.

Since the Satanic powers I acquired over the years have been so incredibly helpful throughout my second life, I figured that there should be some cool 'holy' powers for me to get my hands on as well that will be extremely useful down the line.

Come to think of it, the tower to heaven that Team Stan made in season 6's "A Ladder to Heaven" didn't manage to reach the place. That's the reason why I never bothered trying it out myself back in my own timeline. Looks like it's possible to get to heaven from Earth without dying (or being a supremely powerful other-dimensional being like Satan) after all.