How to Survive South Park

Anti-Tegridy

"Holy shit, dude. My dad was gonna become THIS? 'I' was gonna become THIS?" Stan caught on to the extra bit of hypnotherapy Timmy, Kenny, and I were doing to his dad just to be safe (we reeeaaalllyyy don't want anything Tegridy related to happen here) and demanded an explanation so I gave him one.

I didn't want to include anymore people in my isekai secret so instead, we came up with the excuse that we recently found an artifact in R'lyeh that let us see parts of the future and had Timmy show him my memories of Tegridy Farms from the show. Needless to say, Stan was fucking horrified.

Timmy also showed him some stuff from the Post Covid specials and that was the nail in the coffin for him. He breaks down and begs us to not let that happen and promises to help however he can.

With Mr. Hankey being exiled in the last "episode" (season 22's "The Problem with a Poo") plus him getting shot at school and kidnapped by priests, even his tough exterior to the craziness is beginning to break down, not that I could blame him.

"Don't worry dude, changing the future is our specialty. Look at what we did with the ads. We'll make sure this future never comes to pass." He hugs me and sobs while giving me quiet "thank you"s and I just do my best to get over the awkwardness and comfort him.

Shelly ends up getting grounded for a few weeks because of that picture she gave as a bribe at school which originally set up Randy's decision to become a weed farmer and Stan becomes a lot friendlier towards Kenny, Timmy, and I and has even started asking if we need Toolshed's help with any missions.

The only mission we're really doing right now is trying to track down ManBearPig but the bastard is quick and efficient with his murder sprees and even Wendy can't pinpoint his location fast enough. Stan offers to help and I purposely have him and Wendy work together in order to try and rekindle their relationship.

That and getting some extra help with the small stuff may or may not be why we came up with this half-truth for him to get him on board instead of just having Timmy wipe his memories of that or do a better job hiding what we're doing to his dad.

It's not like he'll be helping us 24/7 though so he still has plenty of time to be with his own friend group. Breaking my unspoken agreement with Cartman won't be very helpful in the long run.

Halloween soon came around and I decided to dress up as Sanitized (male) Agent 3 from Splatoon 2. Yes, I know this is the year all the 4th graders dressed up as Fortnite characters but I couldn't care less about peer pressure and Splatoon is also my favorite MMO shooter game.

Like in canon, the adults were freaking the fuck out about how much candy they would have to get to avoid the wrath of the trick or treaters but I decided to throw them a bone for once.

During lunchtime on Halloween, I went over to where the signal tower for the e-scooters was and destroyed it to prevent another Halloween apocalypse. We also used some EMPs to make sure the scooters were really the mechanical version of dead. Unlike in canon, Kenny isn't poor as hell so he would probably go along with the craze. Plus, I don't want any competition this year for trick or treating.

I already filled the rest of Craig and those guys on what I was doing and we came up with a new plan that involves replacing the scooters with Jimmy's super speed and Timmy's teleportation. Needless to say, we went to a lot more houses than we would have with the scooters but it was only us doing this so the adults weren't overwhelmed this time.

Side note, Kenny ended up dressing up as Agent 8 from Splatoon 2 instead of one of the guys in Fortnite. Female Agent 8 from Splatoon 2. Anyone who has played Octo Expansion should know what I'm getting at here. He didn't even have to worry about the cold weather since he knows how to heat himself up with Netherborn flames like I do. Really starting to regret teaching him how to do that.