How to Survive South Park

South Park 64 Part 1 - Feathered F%#kers

"Morning, girls. Are you ready to start training today?" I ask while sending today's breakfast their way with some bone hands. Today is blueberry pancakes and Karen starts digging in the second her plate reaches her.

"Mmph- Yeah!"

"Blueberry? Why not chocolate chip?"

"You need to have more fruits, Tricia. It takes more than just training hard to become strong; you also need to have a healthy diet."

"Can I just skip that part and get a Trapper Keeper to absorb healthy bad guys with instead?"

"Absolutely not."

"Awwww."

As for what happens now, my goals and master plan haven't changed after that heart to heart to heart with Karen and Tricia a few days ago. I'm demolishing this stupid system and all the dumbasses who are running it, and if Freeman and the other gods get in my way during the process, then I'll take them down too.

My ideology as of now is pretty similar to someone like Technoblade from Dream SMP. I'm opposed to all forms of government and tyranny here as they always become run by corrupt dumbasses if they aren't run by them from the get-go, so basically, I'm an anarchist. I'll show zero mercy to enemies, but I'll do everything in my power to protect the few people I care about along with any innocents I encounter (if I have the chance to).

I have no reason to be cruel to those who aren't cruel to me... but once I'm wronged? Fuck the rules, fuck morality, and fuck the fools who thought they could cross me.

(("Suggestion: Consider a less extreme libertarian role model like Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation instead of the fucking Blood God.")) Aaaaand the mental voices are back.

(("VOICE! As in SINGULAR! No more Technoblade comparisons, Dovah!")) No promises.

Karen and Tricia are on board with my plan and made sure that they would get to help out too. Accounting for that was the only real change done, pretty much everything else in this long-term project should remain the same.

Kenny would probably be furious if he was still around (and Craig wouldn't care), but Karen wants to fight alongside me. She and Tricia are sick and tired of being on the sidelines or on the run; they want to make a difference like I'm planning to. They want to go from being the apprentices to being the masters.

Of course, speeches aren't going to help much with this. They need power and I intend to train them as best as I can using what I know... so basically what I'm doing with myself right now. I may have defeated Butters, but there's still the Time Patrol plus whatever else is out there in the multiverse.

I still need to get stronger. Much stronger.

(("No shit, host/sherlock. Your body can't keep up with the level of energy you now exert and even immortality may not save you from your recklessness if you keep this up. You saw how messed up your body got after that final beam clash with Butters.

Combining your Ultimates is like crossing the streams in the original Ghostbusters movie; you don't fucking do it without proper preparations or plot armor, neither of which you had back there. Simply put, gaining so much energy so quickly is causing an imbalance within you.

Consider this a variant of Rule 22 in the Evil Overlord Handbook: 'No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.' or in your case, countless amounts of energy from whatever the fuck you come across."))

'Still throwing that in my face, are you? I know that, T.K, and I'll be fixing that issue while getting plenty more energy in the process.

Why do you think this whole plan we made revolves around buying us time? It's the only thing I need for this to work.'