Chapter 10: The climactic final battle between Humans and Elves with Dovah on the Elves' side.
Chapter 100: The climactic final battle between Humans and Elves with Dovah on the Humans' side.
100 chapters, over 300k words, and over half a year of constant uploads. What a journey, am I right? Enjoy this latest chapter of How to Survive South Park!
Me, Cartman, and the rest of Kupa Keep's forces arrive at Kyle's house where the initial plan is to convince Kyle's mom that we're just here to play so she lets us into the backyard where the Elven Kingdom is. Yes, that's how it goes in the cut cutscenes.
According to Cartman, the elves have the numbers advantage because of course they do. Maybe I should summon some demons to even the playing field? Or straight up Satan? Maybe even Cthulhu?
You know what? Nah, Cartman might take advantage of the poor thing again.
(("Like you're doing to him?")) He deserves it. Also, when did you start getting sassy?
(("Data not found.")) Bullshit detected.
(("Correct. You are unable to summon Cthulhu at this time.")) Fuck you, T.K.
Sheila lets us in after Cartman asks her nicely to (Cartman being genuinely polite? No wonder this part was cut, this is OOC as fuck for him) and the climactic final battle between the Humans and Drow Elves began.
"THE DWARVES ARE ATTACKING!!! BATTLE STATIONS!!!"
"WE'VE COME FOR THE STICK, KAHL!"
"THEN COME AND GET IT, FAT BOY!"
"LET'S GO!" Kyle's backyard and the Elven Kingdom here are far bigger than in the original game just like Cartman's backyard and kingdom. Only difference is, Kyle's is much more fortified and has multiple giant sections to it instead of just one with everything squished together in it.
Bradley Biggle is the one leading the initial charge against the humans here which probably means that this cut out section was made before season 14's Superhero Trilogy as the kid should be busy enslaving various alien races as MintBerry Crunch at the moment.
He seems to be the same rank as Chris Donnely (he's not an 'elven king' like his Phone Destroyer card; Kyle's the leader here) with the aforementioned miniboss defending the other side of the fortress with another squadron of elves. Craig and Tweek double team the former with a squadron of humans right behind them to engage with the elven fodder supporting him.
Dozens of humans and elves begin to clash all over Kyle's backyard as I make my way around the main fortress. There's a mini blockade and some elves in the way, but a couple swings from my scepter bat the elves aside like nothing.
Chris is there to try and stop me again, but Butters leads a group of humans to intercept him. It's only me and the wizard now and we haven't even started on the first subquest of this section.
"Uhhh, was this intentional?" I ask Cartman.
"I took a calculated risk, but man am I bad at math."
Goddamnit, Cartman. You've literally led a war against the United States and would've won if it wasn't for Stan and Kyle screwing you over at the last minute. And that's just one example of you leading a successful army!
How are you having so much difficulty with this shit?
"The gate's on the other side. Until we bring it down, the lives of my worthless pawns are at risk." Yes, that's an actual line Cartman says in this quest. You'd think at least some of the humans would be pissed off at this, but they seem to hate the elves more than their own king who goes through their potion supply faster than the Nematodes eat Spongebob's house.
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How to Survive South Park
FanfictionA top tier South Park: Stick of Truth speedrunner gets sent into that very game, and by extension, the world of their favorite TV show by god (aka Morgan Freeman) for shits and giggles. Finding himself now in the body of the game's protagonist, New...
