How to Survive South Park

Catching Up and Crashing Down

It's been a few hours since Jimmy and I arrived and we have tamed and/or defeated every dire creature in sight. The dire bears and wolves were annoying as hell with their laser eyes and frost breath respectively but the barking spiders were the worst since their webs and babies got all over our outfits. If it wasn't for the fact that I can use a clothes beam to fix our costumes, we would be in fucking cocoons by now.

Did I mention that I fucking hate spiders? Well these dire spiders are worse because they're spiders but dire and like 6 feet tall.

Good thing Stan wasn't here since according to Jimmy, he's still terrified of snakes and dire snakes are snakes but, you guessed it, dire.

Jimmy decides to head home while I take a much needed break and get back to hunting later. The break ends up lasting shorter than I expected though since Timmy and Kenny decided to head up to where I am.

I thought it was some kind of emergency at first but they just wanted to hang out and chat and even brought a picnic basket over filled with stuff they stole from Cartman's potion supply (heh). I've been either working, planning, or fighting nearly nonstop since I've gotten here so this is a really nice change of pace.

We end up discussing what to do for the climax of the game or day 3 of Stick of Truth since Clyde may have a few extra surprises in store because I've become far more powerful than the New Kid in canon SOT. I also take this time to apologize to Kenny again for getting him killed and he's ok with it since it still happens all the time.

I thought Kenny's deaths died down around now (no pun intended) since Kenny hardly died at this point on the show anymore but I guess there's a whole lot of stuff that isn't shown on episodes as well.

Timmy flashes us a confused look and Kenny lets him know about the curse (again) though he will probably end up forgetting after the next death. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in Kenny's shoes. While having infinite lives sounds nice on paper, the drawbacks make it not so worth it.

Kenny doesn't stay depressed for long and throws a curveball of a question at me to change the subject.

"So Dovah, you plan on getting together with anyone?"

"The hell? Where did that come from?"

"I don't know. I'm just curious."

I don't plan on getting a girlfriend here since despite them technically being in their mid to late 20s, (they were 8 year olds back in 1997) they are still basically kids and I'm a college student, albeit a former one if I'm stuck here permanently so that's not happening. I'm personally a fan of Red McArthur but she's with Kevin Stoley and I have no plans on changing that even if SkankHunt causes a mass breakup later down the line.

"I have no plans on doing that, McCormick. I'm kinda busy trying to save the world right now."

"Alright, so be it. But I doubt that you'll be doing this savior gig 24/7."

I change the subject and ask him and Timmy if they have any other ideas with Timmy soon suggesting raiding the crashed visitor ship to get some alien tech for ourselves before the government guys take it all. That idea doesn't sound half bad but I really need to catch up on sleep and I have plenty to do tomorrow already so Kenny and Timmy agree to take care of it tonight before the nazi zombies begin to outnumber the townspeople.

Speaking of, dealing with those guys shouldn't be an issue since I can simply have Kenny drink some goo and fart on his balls the second he transforms so I get to pretty much skip the final boss which is nice. The only issues now are Clyde and the government's snuke but we already have plans for both of those things so we should be good to go.