Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 12, Part 2)

244 He Couldn't Take the Easy Way Out

Jing He hesitated for a moment before raising his hand again. He should do it. What was he afraid of? At most, there would be a creepy voice whispering in his ear. That wasn't all that bad, was it?

He tried to tell himself this as reassurance but it couldn't keep his fingers from trembling. It had just felt so wrong somehow when he used the Mark of Wisdom just now. Maybe it was just his knowledge that this wasn't how things were supposed to be. Maybe he subconsciously felt that since he didn't want to stay a fallen god, he shouldn't use their skills either. Whatever the reason was, he didn't like to do this.

Qiu Ling watched him and then reached up, grasping his hand. "You don't have to do it. Even if you want to, it doesn't have to be now. You can take your time and slowly ... get used to the idea if that is what it takes."

Jing He shook his head. He knew that Qiu Ling would give him all the time he needed but he wanted to solve this. If he knew that he could give up these abilities in exchange for a glimpse at his future, it would take a burden off his shoulders. How could he be like this now?

He took a deep breath and gave Qiu Ling a smile. "It's alright, really. It's just ... it takes a bit of convincing myself but I can do it."

Qiu Ling hesitated but still nodded in the end and let go of Jing He's hand. He did hug him gently though, his fingers trailing through his long hair. "Then I'll hold you while you try again. If you really can't take it any longer, just stop. While I want to have you back as soon as possible, I want you to be comfortable even more than that."

Jing He hummed and closed his eyes. He took another deep breath. This time, knowing what would happen and with Qiu Ling being aware of what he was doing, he felt a little calmer. After just another moment of hesitation, he finally touched the Mark of Wisdom again and thought about the question he wanted answered.

'Any ability one possesses can be given up at the Spring of Fate.'

The answer of the Mark of Wisdom was concise enough with no additional words added that did not pertain to the question it was asked.

Jing He opened his eyes, staring blankly. It seemed ... that there was absolutely no limitation on which skill you could give up?

Qiu Ling noticed that he had frozen and tilted his head to look at him. "What's the matter, my love?"

Jing He raised his head, his expression still a little lost. "It ... it seems to be possible?"

"That's good." Qiu Ling continued to look at him and couldn't help but wonder if he had missed something important. "Isn't it?"

Jing He nodded slowly. "Yes ... yes, it is." He just couldn't believe that it actually was an option. It felt a bit like ... he was cheating? He couldn't quite put it into words but it just felt very disingenuous. Considering what the Spring of Fate was and how it was related to something even Tian had no control over ... he just didn't think this was alright, no matter what the Mark of Wisdom said.

Qiu Ling couldn't quite understand Jing He's mood. Maybe it was the way they had grown up with Jing He following the rules to the letter while he simply took advantage of every opportunity that was presented to him but in his eyes, if they found a loophole in the rules that was convenient to them, he felt that they should absolutely take it. Otherwise, wouldn't they be unnecessarily harsh on themselves?

He knew Jing He well enough to get that he wasn't all that happy though. Thinking back to his initial reaction, he could surmise what was likely going through his mind. "Do you think that there will be negative consequences?"

Jing He looked at him oddly and finally nodded. Yes, it seemed that this was the core of the issue. He hadn't been able to put his finger on it before but this was precisely what he was afraid of: If he sacrificed something that he himself didn't regard as a sacrifice, then what if that influenced the outcome? What if there was a punishment for that?

It didn't seem impossible. Since the Law of Balance was even able to doom Tian's people, then it would be likely to also deal with someone who refused to play by the rules, wouldn't it? And he would be doing exactly that, wouldn't he? To gain knowledge of the future without the required sacrifice meant tilting the balance between him and everyone else.

If he was able to make his decision based on just the glimpse he could gain from giving up the abilities of a fallen god, then he would be a trueborn god again, one who knew what the future might bring without having to lack anything else. In a way, that meant gaining something without losing anything. That couldn't be allowed no matter how he looked at it.

"I just ... don't think that it should be done that way. Maybe I can give them up but won't there be issues later? For example, what if the Spring of Fate requests another sacrifice after I become a trueborn god again because I would have lost those abilities anyway? Or what if ... what if I can't become a trueborn god again because I am now lacking those abilities and they are somehow important?" He looked at Qiu Ling in a panic.

Yes, there was so much that could go wrong. Could he really risk that? He wanted nothing more than to find the answers he required, become a trueborn god again, and live the life he should have. He didn't want to make that impossible just because he was trying to take the easy way out. Although, frankly, if he tried and that happened, he also felt that he would deserve it.

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Author's Note: Alright, with this chapter, we're back up to date with OMF at least (I'll do everything else afterward). I also promised you an extra earlier since it's Christmas. Looking through what's up on Wattpad already and what isn't, I've decided to go with something slightly longer: a short novella called "A Hairy Situation" which is about ... a modified beauty pageant that sees Jing He, Jinde, and Xiang Yu compete for the crown of the most beautiful? 🤔