Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 12, Part 2)

233 A Decision to Make

Tian had said what he wanted. After having made sure that Jing He had truly understood the meaning of his words as well, he simply left him to himself again. When it came to what he wanted to see and which price he wanted to pay for it, only Jing He could make a decision. Others might be able to give some advice but it was better to let him think about it himself. This could also help him in letting go of his obsession.

Yes, even though Jing He needed reassurance to make the actual decision of which path to choose for his future, this in itself wasn't an issue. As long as he finally made up his mind, he would be able to get rid of the specific obsession. It wouldn't take care of his tendency to overthink but at least in this specific regard, he would be safe. And it wasn't like he would be confronted with a similarly big decision in the foreseeable future so ... this seemed like the easiest way to go forward.

Making up his mind about the spring wasn't as difficult for Jing He as deciding between marrying Qiu Ling or fulfilling his promise to his father. With how important the outcome was, he didn't dare to take it lightly though, and thought about it a great deal. After Tian left, he sat down in his study again, once again weighing his options.

There were two possible paths ahead of him: He could refuse to look at the Spring of Fate and try to figure out the best way for himself but at his current pace, it might take years to get rid of his status as a fallen god then. He didn't want to see that. He was already missing out on too much and making too many people worry about him. Alternatively, he could consult the spring and get a glimpse of the future that lay ahead of him.

The decision between these two options wasn't difficult at all. The sacrifice didn't seem too bad since it wouldn't affect others and the certainty this might be able to give him was worth it. He really had no reason not to try. As to what to look at though ...

For one, he could look at the fate that awaited him if he married Qiu Ling. This was the path he personally preferred. Would his parents truly split because of this? Would the relationship between the gods and dragons break down? And also ... would his child with Qiu Ling be lost?

The latter had little to do with the conflict between his possible decision but if he did marry Qiu Ling, this was something that should be in his future. He did worry about this since Qiu Ling desired a big family after all. Not being able to give him a single child ... even though Qiu Ling had tried to reassure him, he still hated the thought. Receiving some reassurance in this regard would also be welcome.

The issue was that he had no idea how much the spring would show him. If he asked to see the future after he chose and married Qiu Ling, would this be included? Or would he have to give it yet another try to get the answer to this as well? In that case, it would require two sacrifices and while he didn't mind giving up on something to receive these answers ... there were only so many things he had to offer.

Tian hadn't told him any details about the sacrifices one could make but Jing He didn't doubt that they had to be somewhat of equal value. To use an ability once possessed by Tian's people ... he might have to give up an ability of his own.

This sounded a lot like the punishment trueborn gods would receive if they didn't do their trial early enough: In those circumstances, their magical abilities could be affected, or maybe their senses. Only in the worst case would they die.

Maybe the Spring of Fate was similar in that it would accept this kind of sacrifice. The difference was that the loss of your abilities in the case of a trial not yet done was only temporary. If you made up for it, you would regain those abilities.

The same couldn't be said for the spring though. As soon as he made this deal, that ability would vanish from his life and do so forever. There would be no way to get it back. If he ever needed it in the future, he would be out of luck. This was a decision for eternity, one that couldn't be taken back or amended. He'd better choose wisely and not look at anything he didn't absolutely had to see to make his decision.

Thinking about it this way, if the answer about the children he and Qiu Ling might have wasn't included, he shouldn't ask for that. It was just too risky. He'd be better off using this option only for the actual decision he had to make to return to being a trueborn god.

Anyway, he had already thought of the workaround of going on another trial to have children with Qiu Ling. He could bring that up with Tian and ask about whether it would be feasible in the way he thought. He didn't need the Spring of Fate for that. Anyway, considering that this also concerned Tian in a way, since their first child should be the reincarnation of Tian's son, it seemed like the better choice to do so.

This meant that when it came to the spring, there were only two questions left: The fate awaiting him if he chose Qiu Ling and the fate he would face if he decided to follow his father's wishes. He could look at one or maybe at both. The latter would allow him to compare better but the former would only require a single sacrifice, making it easier to decide on what he wanted to give up on for this chance.