Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 12, Part 2)

222 An Emotionally Draining Opportunity to Learn

Tian had been waiting for Jing He to come back. Not just so that they could continue where they had left off yesterday but also to see how he would deal with his venture into the Nine Heavens. Even though fallen gods didn't grow in the way trueborn gods would that didn't mean that they weren't influenced by their experiences. This was especially true when the things they experienced were tied to their obsession in some way. This was why Xiang Yu's obsession had lessened after he broke up with Xiao Li and decided on Xin Lan instead. It also meant that Jing He might make progress when facing the decision between his lover and his father.

The problem, in this case, was that Jing He hadn't had as much time as Xiang Yu. One's obsession was always the strongest at the beginning, right after the fall. Afterward, with time slowly passing and the event that had triggered their fall being further and further in the past, their emotions evened out and as long as they weren't reminded of their obsession, most fallen gods could even be pleasant to be around.

For Xiang Yu, it had been thousands of years since that fateful day. While he would never forget what had happened to him, he usually didn't think of it either unless his love life was concerned. Jing He was a different matter altogether though. His fall had been so recent, his mind still constantly revolved around it. He couldn't let go of it at all and being confronted with it might not just trigger his emotions and obsessive thoughts but could even make things worse. That was why he hadn't wanted him to see Qiu Ling before he was ready.

He didn't bother to open a portal and instead slowly walked over there, giving Jing He time to deal with his emotions by himself first. Anyway, it was best to see his reaction. Based on that, he could formulate a plan to help him progress. Of course, it was clear what Jing He wanted but he needed to understand that himself. Until he could do so, there was no hope of recovery.

When Tian finally arrived at Jing He's palace, the person in question was clinging to the doorway, sobbing. Tian didn't feel much about it. For a fallen god, this was about as pleasant as they could get. At least he wasn't rushing around the world, going on a rampage whenever something set him off, or terrorizing the people at whatever place he had fallen in like Xiang Yu had.

Tian quietly stopped a few paces away from Jing He and just watched for a moment. The person didn't notice him, completely absorbed in his devastation. "Did you find an answer yet?"

Jing He flinched when a voice suddenly sounded behind him. He had thought himself all alone so he cried without shame. Now, he had been seen like this. He hurriedly tried to dry his tears but they kept coming. In the end, he could only turn to look at Tian with tears still rolling down his cheeks. He just couldn't help it.

Tian had little compassion for others. Even when it came to Jing He, that wasn't any different. He needed this person to recover and he valued him as the one who would bear Yuan's reincarnation but that didn't mean that he actually cared about him as a person outside of this task he wanted him to fulfill. Seeing his tears moved nothing in him. It only made him consider the best steps to take so he would calm down soon and start on his journey. As for what those steps should be ... "You went to see your lover. Your current state should tell you why I didn't think it was a good idea but I don't fault you for going. You love him and you want to spend time with him. That is only natural. As a fallen god, it is often difficult to control your emotions so when your longing overcomes you, it is hard to resist. You still did considerably well being able to return at the end of the night."

Jing He lowered his head. Thinking back to that time, it certainly hadn't been his wish to return. Instead, Qiu Ling had insisted that he should go because he knew it would be an issue if he stayed. Qiu Ling ... just knew much better than him.

Tian stepped closer and finally reached out, grabbing Jing He's chin and tilting his head up. "You should see it as an opportunity to learn. Didn't you find the answer to the question I asked you yesterday while you went there?"

Jing He looked at him, barely able to not tremble under Tian's gaze. He hadn't realized before how ruthless it seemed. It was very different from the gentle gaze Qiu Ling would direct at him. Of course, one was his lover and the other likely didn't think much of him at all but ... to think that this was who was supposed to help him recover ... it made him fear for his future even more. But thinking of that, he felt once more that Qiu Ling's guess had been right. "It was the loneliness."

Tian nodded and let go of him. "That is indeed the case. Xing was just like that: His father did not care for him and his mother was too weak to contend against the Heavenly Empress, finally letting her child suffer in silence while she looked away. His siblings were busy fighting for themselves and those men who showed some interest were easily diverted with a few words.

"In the whole of the Nine Heavens and even past its borders, there was not one person willing to put Xing first. Because of this, he felt as if he was alone in this world and what he wished for most was one person willing to accompany him, no matter what happened. That was when I went to see him."