Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 12, Part 2)

218 What About You?

"Can that be compared?" Qiu Ling raised his brows in doubt. In general, he could see how it was similar: Jinde had felt lonely at the time and was certainly unhappy. But then, his father had contributed to that a lot. And while he didn't want to pretend that he had no hand in Jing He's current situation whatsoever ... he certainly wasn't the main reason for it, something his father couldn't have said about himself.

Jinde smiled faintly. "I do think it can. Sure, it's not like you pushed your lover to this point. But the fact remains that this is about you. His happiness is tied to you because he loves you. If he feels insecure, then how are you going to make him pursue his happiness irrespective of others' opinions? Isn't that still following yours?"

"I'm being honest though if I say that I only want him to be happy."

"I am sure you are but ... can he see that? If he is inherently distrustful of everyone's feelings toward him, then how can he suddenly believe? No, he will second-guess it no matter what you say. What needs to happen is for him to work on himself. Tian was right that he can best do that if you are not around because he does need to find to himself first. It's ... certainly not easy to do and you will both suffer but yes, you're the wrong person to help him with this."

Qiu Ling's brows furrowed but he had to admit that Jinde was likely right. Hadn't he realized tonight? No matter what he said, Jing He wouldn't change the way he thought and he wouldn't suddenly believe in his feelings being eternal. As much as he hated the thought, there was indeed nothing he could do.

Qiu Ling sighed deeply but finally nodded. "You're right. Actually, I think I saw it tonight. I just ... I didn't want to believe it. I've always thought that I should be there for him and help him through whatever happens, never leaving his side. It's a hard pill to swallow that I suddenly can't do it when it seems to matter the most."

Jinde shook his head. "I get what you mean but you are looking at this the wrong way: By not staying at his side and giving him the space he needs, you are supporting him. Showing your care comes in many different ways. For the two of you, at this point in time, the best way to help is to be there if he needs you but also leave him be by himself whenever that isn't the case. Only this way can he actually explore how he wants to move forward."

"Yes, you're right." Qiu Ling nodded again. His heart hurt thinking about how long they'd be separated but there was no other choice. Well, at least he had managed to spend the previous night with Jing He and handed him the letters. That was better than nothing. Even if the next time they saw each other was far off, they had shared a short moment together and he had made sure that Jing He would have something to look back on if he truly felt desperate.

Jinde kept quiet for a moment and finally hummed. "What about you?"

Qiu Ling raised his brows. "Me?"

"Yes, you. You're worried about him, I know. I also know how much it hurts that you can't see him. But apart from that ... how are you doing over there?"

Qiu Ling looked at him and couldn't help but smile. This was the kind of care he had always loved Jinde for. Maybe it was because of how he himself had grown up but he always knew to check in with him and see how he was doing. He wouldn't press if he didn't want to talk to him but he would quietly listen if he did and give advice or just some comfort, depending on what was necessary.

"I'm well. As ... well as I can be under the current circumstances. I wish he was back for good and I wish I could do more than sitting here and trying to convince a man who hates me of my value. There hasn't been any progress on that front, you know? On the contrary, I sometimes feel that he hates me even more."

Jinde huffed. "Such a child. What is he throwing such a tantrum for? His son loves you deeply and his wife is alright with you as well. Even if he himself has bad judgment, shouldn't he trust theirs?"

Qiu Ling's smile brightened. "What you want to say is that he has no taste for rejecting your child."

"Mn, of course. What's not to love about having you as a son-in-law? You're as strong as one could expect of a dragon which will make your future partner live very securely, you've inherited your father's good looks, and with your age, you have the experience not to make a lot of the stupid mistakes others would make. Plus, isn't it impressive to be unanimously accepted as the king of your people? You didn't even get the position due to your bloodline but because of your actions. Our people adore you. Shouldn't that tell him something?"

Qiu Ling felt amused. Half of this somehow sounded like Jinde was praising himself but he didn't mind either. He just felt happy that Jinde had quietly acquiesced that he counted as his child. "This must be jealousy since he can't say the same things about himself."

Jinde chuckled. "Don't badmouth your father-in-law too much. If someone hears, you might be in trouble."

Qiu Ling could only sigh in response to that. "What trouble am I getting in? It really doesn't seem as if his opinion of me can get any worse." Of course, he also wouldn't overdo it. He still silently hoped for Jing He's sake that his father would come around one day, no matter how unlikely that may be.