Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 12, Part 2)

224 A Decision He Had to Make Himself

Tian looked at him without any compassion. "That is an answer only you yourself can find. It is your own life so what you do or don't want all depends on yourself. Of course, no decision is going to be without consequences. But it is also on you to decide which of these you can live with and which you can't take. Nobody can do that for you. After all, this is your life and also the reason you have fallen. Without making this decision yourself and pulling yourself out of this situation, you will never return to being a trueborn god."

Jing He furrowed his brows. He understood this. He knew he had to make a decision but ... "I don't know how. I just don't know how to do this." Maybe it was because he had never needed to make such a difficult choice in his life. In fact, there were few choices of gravity in his life.

The most important might have been which gift to give to Qiu Ling on the anniversary of his coronation in the name of his people or how to politely reject his advances if they went too far. Apart from that, the choices in his life came down to choosing the type of tea he wanted to offer guests or which outer robe to pair with which inner robe. He just ... never needed to decide anything for himself.

Jing He leaned against the doorway, feeling exhausted. Just how had he arrived at this juncture? It seemed ... like there was neither a way forward nor a way back. All choices in front of him seemed wrong as if the consequences would be more than he could live with. But at the same time, he couldn't simply step back and wait for things to play out as fate intended them to be because ... all of this relied on him, on his decision. Without this choice, everyone would be trapped in the current stalemate as well.

Tian kept quiet and let Jing He think for a while. When he didn't say anything else, he finally sighed. "You don't have to make the decision today. Take your time to think things through. I will leave you to yourself and not interfere. If you do need me, you know where to find me. Otherwise, I will check up on you every now and then."

He turned away and took a few steps before pausing. "Right ... I do not mind if you go to see either your lover or your family. You should just know that this won't necessarily make things easier for you. You should instead take the time to find to yourself and figure out your heart. Only this way can you find the way forward. Still, this is your life and the choices are all yours. While I need something from you that can only be achieved one way, I won't influence you just for my own sake." Tian only left those words before he picked up his pace again and returned to his own palace. Anyway, he didn't doubt how Jing He would finally choose. Fate was already turning in that direction. Jing He simply had not understood that yet. When he did, it was only a question of time until he would return to the Nine Heavens and walk the path that was destined for him.

When he arrived at his own palace, Tian stopped for a moment and looked up at the sky. If Jing He couldn't make a decision on his own, there was still one way he could try. But he should first give him some time. Otherwise, who knew if it would count as influencing fate too much?

He didn't bother with that thought any further and finally stepped inside, the gate closing behind him while he went to take up his usual spot next to the coffin holding Xing's body. He reached out, gently placing his hand on top. "Soon, we will be reunited. I just need ... a little more patience until then." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He knew that even after Jing He recovered his identity as a trueborn god and even after he got married, Xing wouldn't open his eyes immediately. The actual time might still be much longer. And yet, it felt as if the opportunity was almost in his grasp. Yes, compared to the time that had already passed, the one waiting for them wasn't that far off.

"This time, I will make sure that nothing will go wrong. We will leave and find a place just for us. I can create it for us if that is what you want or maybe we can just travel until we find somewhere suitable. It doesn't even have to be in this world. Maybe you saw something in your dreams and we can find a place that resembles it as close as possible. Anyway, it won't be the same as before. We will leave all of that behind us."

Tian sighed when he spoke until here. He loved to make such plans for the future but he hated that he only ever made them alone. Xing couldn't answer him. Who knew if he could even hear him? As deep as he likely was in his dreams, none of this might reach him.

Well, it was probably better that way. He had experienced so much pain. Why should he be reminded of that again and again? It was likely best for him not to hear a thing and stay blissfully unaware, simply savoring the good dreams he had until the time he could wake up to Yuan's reincarnation being born.

At that time, Xing might be able to overcome the heartache of the past and truly look forward to the future again. By then, they could plan where they wanted to go and what they wanted to do. No matter what Xing wished for, he would fulfill all his desires. He just ... needed to wait a little bit longer.