How to Survive South Park

P.T.K.T. (Planet Trapper Keeper Tycoon)

Directly giving your human brain access to all the planet's coding and functions would overwhelm you and make you brain dead, even with my assistance. You have to ease into it overtime in order to avoid that. The first stage or 'tutorial' will begin in one hour."))

Suddenly, the entirety of my additional sensory input fucking vanishes, which lets me focus on my own body.

From the looks of it, I still look the same on the outside. I'm also missing my clothes.

"Where the hell is my outfit?"

(("The merging could not be done if your entire body was being blocked off by various designer fabrics.")) The thing could have at least given me one of those hospital gowns or something.

Some food and my Time Patrol outfit suddenly came out of a hole in the floor and I did my best to recover in the given timeframe. As for my new outfit, it's kind of a mix between my Call Girl and Shieldmaiden costumes.

I still have tons of phones strapped to my waist and I'm still wearing the pink skirt from my Call Girl costume, but the top half of my costume is now a purple t-shirt with silver colored armor for shoulder pads, gauntlets, and most of my front and back with the latter two being mostly covered by a giant heart with a phone in the middle.

My pink mask has also been replaced with a visor that's a mix between pink and purple and I still have the earpiece to my left. It pretty much trades some of my speed for power and defense which I'm probably going to need against opponents who can blow up entire cities, or worse.

The tutorial eventually starts with my brain being filled with information and P.T.K. giving me instructions on what to do for now.

(("It's one thing to have information directly inputted into your brain and another to know how to use it. Time to start basic training.")) It says before I'm suddenly connected to a small portion of the planet again.

(("Just a quick heads up before we start, there are automatic safety measures in place. If you try to do something critically stupid such as firing the facility's weaponry at other parts of the planet or accidently time jump into Freeman knows where, it'll stop you before those commands go through.

Those safeties can be disabled, but only when the facility is in combat mode. That's to facilitate, let's say, unorthodox combat tactics, something Dovah happens to excel in."))

Yeah, that makes sense. Going all planetary-kamikaze on our enemies' asses to avoid a fate worse than death only to fail when a fucking pop-up window demanding a confirmation to that decision stops you last minute sounds like a... very, very bad thing.

The training begins and while I focus on getting mentally adjusted to becoming part planet, T.K. tells me what our main priorities are.

I pretty much have to help it merge with stuff and grow stronger, kind of like one of those tycoon games... hang on a second. That actually gives me an idea.

"Hey, Wendy. What are you playing?"

"Oh, just some tycoon game I found." I asked T.K. if it could disguise itself as a harmless looking game app on my phone so I can help it without looking suspicious and the A.I. constructed a phone I could use to control some of the planet's functions with.

I've been having it invade timelines, get resources, build troops and defenses, and tons of other stuff in the form of a time-wasting cash grab and nobody suspects a single fucking thing as I grind materials for my planetary partner.

"I'd be careful doing those games. It's really easy for people to get addicted to them."

"I know; I'll be fine." I would even be fooled myself if I didn't have any context. Tons of people here do random shit on their phones during their free time so I can just fit right in with the crowd.