How to Survive South Park

Dragons and Douchebags

He's also the only person I can rely on to prevent me from going too far since Red sure as hell isn't helpful for my morality.

We arrive on the scene with the dragon's power being... high, but not concerningly high. Don't get me wrong; given enough time, the giant dragon could probably turn the world into a post-apocalyptic wasteland, but so can a vastly-weakened Cthulhu in season 14.

There's no way standard militaries are stopping guys like them; even nukes would probably not be enough, but it's not like the one-monster armies can destroy a continent with a single blast or anything. Cthulhu at his prime probably can (according to T.K's estimates anyway), but that's not something I have to worry about right now.

In terms of sheer power, I'd put him at around the level of ManBearPig when he shows up in season 22, so enough to take down a weakened Satan. Geldon may even be close to the Nazi Zombie ManBearPig I had to deal with in my own timeline if he knows how to put that 'world-destroying' power to good use.

The dragon is like Shub-Niggurath to a degree; tons of power, but little will and knowledge on how to actually use it. Swearing all the time must continuously power him up too if the dragon's summoning and lore is anything to go by, just like how temptation and deal-making increases ManBearPig's power as a Sifter of Fate.

Speaking of, the partnership deal I made with the dark angel actually increased my power by a decent bit overtime. I have absolutely no clue what makes some deals strengthen Sifters of Fate more than others (amount of carnage they cause? how big of an effect they have in the future? how many people are involved with said deal?), but it's still nice to see one of the more abstract abilities I've gotten begin to take effect.

Back to the episode we're in, the knight guys featured are pretty strong themselves when actually using their powers (not like the one who got blindsided by a few bullets and fell out of a corporate skyscraper window) and seem to have Excalibur-esc swords that can shoot beams of light (holy magic maybe?), but they aren't very effective on Geldon.

"It's too strong! We can not fight it without the rune stone!" One knight screams in his weird Middle Ages accent and I decide that now's a good time for us to take over.

"You can sit this one out guys, the Dragonborn has arrived." I announce, playing Skyrim's 'Dragonborn' on my phone and lunging towards the dragon.

The punch I throw doesn't just knock it out of the recording studio, but also the fucking town it's in. Fuck, I am powerful.

Red and Zenon then fly right after it with Team Stan and Chef arriving right after, preparing for their part of this episode.

"Hey guys, thanks for bringing the rune stone. I got it from here." Only for me to completely derail it, but it's not like that's anything new at this point.

"Who are you?"

"Shut it jew and let this douchebag deal with the giant dragon thing for us." Cartman snarks as I walk over to a confused Kyle.

I then take the stone, not to use it on Geldon, but to eventually find a way to make Geldon immune to the thing after it becomes my personal mount. After the shitshow with Nagitana, I made it a priority to ensure that no stupid canon weaknesses fuck me over again and I'm fucking sticking to that!

Once the stone is safe in my Bag of Holding, I fly on over to where the dragon landed and see Red slicing its stomach open while Zenon climbs up its neck.

"I thought we weren't going to use the shiny MacGuffin stone on this guy." Red points out when I arrive.

"It's for research purposes. Same with the other stones. I'll extort them when we're done here."