How to Survive South Park

Nahkriin War Finale - Membering

Turns out that South Parkers finally began to physically age like in the Post Covid specials a bit after the war finally ended. It lined up pretty well with Season 24 when those specials happened, or rather, when they were originally supposed to happen.

The future isn't a sad one where most of the main South Parkers are pathetic failures or general disappointments; the future is a bright one where not even the sky's the limit. I proved that when I completely took over Heaven a while back.

I remember becoming president of the United States at 18 which wasn't hard when I was basically groomed for the position, and in less then a year after that, all the strings made and plans formed by me and the member berries came together to grant me complete control over the entire world.

That soon extended to other worlds and even other dimensions like Heaven, Hell, Imaginationland, and R'lyeh although the last one is still a work in progress at the moment.

I remember becoming the ruler of the world. The empress of the world. Memberboss was pretty much just my advisor at that point as I took the reins and went full speed ahead. He didn't need to influence me to do anything beyond that slight push at the beginning. He never did, really.

I remember doing a better job at creating and maintaining peace than my brothers ever did. I remember becoming better than my brothers ever were at everything, even what they stood for.

I'm not the atrocious looking deadbeat I was in the Post Covid specials. I'm the beautiful, powerful, unrivaled empress of the entire world and so much more!

I remember it all.

I remember imagining it all.

I have a pretty crazy imagination, don't I?

"Like I said, it's quality vs quantity and unfortunately for all of them, we have more than enough of both. Their story is coming to a close, Karen. Ready to start a new one?" I smile after Memberboss extends the offer to me.

"Yeah, I'm ready to start a new story. One where me and my allies are the ones who come out on top and stay up on top. It's like a dream come true for me and I know I can accomplish that with your help."

Memberboss smiles as I tell him this.

"Though there is one important thing to note and it's the reason why I can't accept this. Even if doing this means losing out on my dream, I don't really mind, because at the end of the day...

I just love my big brothers too damn much."

[Eldritch Mass]

The ritual activates and Memberboss along with every other human and member berry in a mile-long radius around me falls over lifeless.

Their lifeforce then all gathers towards me and I scream as cracks in thin air begin to form.

Next thing I know, the Elder God Cthulhu smashes through the roof of the facility with me appearing on his shoulder.

I can see why Kenny and Dovah nearly pissed themselves in sheer terror back when they sensed his energy for the first time. It's completely overwhelming with even Nazi-Zombie ManBearPig being dwarfed in power by the Dark God.

(("That future could have been yours if you so desired it. Why give it up?")) A deep voice echoes in my mind and I answer who I'm assuming to be Cthulhu.