How to Survive South Park

Anti-Tegridy

Clyde thought it was the funniest shit in the world and I had to literally duct tape his mouth shut just to stop him from laughing and screaming "Agent 24" at our faces. Enough with the shipping shit, goddamnit!

Even the worst of that still beats last year's Halloween by a mile though. We tried and failed to stop the main plot of season 21 episode 6, "Sons a Witches" with Chip Duncan (one of the dumbass adults) still getting his dumbass possessed by reading some witchcraft book and turning into an actual witch during the dumbass adults' "Jack and Crack Witch Week" aka their week-long Halloween party.

Kenny, Timmy, and I were waiting to ambush them and destroy the book at the spot they went to in canon since we couldn't find the thing at Chip's house beforehand but for some fucking reason (probably butterfly effect somehow), they went to a completely different fucking spot to party at.

The asshole destroyed a fourth of the town and caused us to miss most of Dr Spooky's Pumpkin Patch Fair (the place Cartman and Heidi went during that episode) but we along with the member berries (through the government) managed to finally corner him and blast him into dust with the U.S. government's satellite laser gun like what Garrison did in canon.

At least we got a really good Satanic version of a Bag of Holding out of it (the sack Chip used to keep the kids he kidnapped in).

As for the book, we got rid of it since none of us felt like getting possessed in exchange for learning a few more spells. I want as much power as possible but shit like that isn't the way to go. I dealt with enough possession bullshit already, thank you very much.

Back to the current Halloween, we went speeding from house to house to house to house and had to make several stops at my place to drop all our candy off. We spent nearly the entire night looking around for places with candy and got so much in the end that we could literally swim in it. It was more candy than Wendy won in season 1's "Pinkeye" to give you long time fans of the show a perspective. She won a whole two fucking tons of candy that episode for anyone who doesn't know.

The only issue was we lost track of who's candy was where in the giant pile and got into a massive brawl over who got what candy. We ended up settling things through several Mario Kart tournaments and I got nearly every bag of M&Ms in the pile which is what I was gunning for.

After a bunch of races and a 20 minute argument on whether or not using telepathy to control your own Xbox controller is considered cheating, we all got our candy and went our separate ways except for Kenny, Timmy, and I. The three of us headed over to Stark's Pond to watch the sunrise since it's about to happen and we felt like it.

We don't bother flying or teleporting or using a portal gun Imagined from another dimension. Right now, we're just three best friends walking down to a pond. Yes, I know Timmy technically isn't walking but you get the point.

Despite having busy schedules even when we don't have an upcoming season to prepare for, we always find time to just hang out and have some fun with each other without worrying about any work or responsibilities. Take the aftermath of the Bring the Crunch DLC for example. I already mentioned a few times back then how we planned to stay for multiple days instead of the one night the DLC takes place during and we did.

When the next day came around, Timmy, Kenny, and I went and did all the badges together while Butters, Jimmy, and Wendy did their own things.

We all made s'mores (Baking Badge), cleaned up the camp (Disability Assistance Badge), caught a Tardicaca Freshwater Shark and a worse-for-wear looking Nathan (Marine Life Badge), got supplies for and made dream catchers (Native Heritage Badge), and tracked down the remaining spirits before getting what they needed to fade away in peace (Paranormal Investigation Badge).