How to Survive South Park

A Few New Familiar Faces

It's just how these episode plots work. Hell, even the majority of non-episode plots follow that basic formula!

Kenny and Timmy should be getting into contact with Garrison and the member berries to get me pardoned but until then, I'm stuck playing along with this shit as I would rather not become a criminal here.

I get sent to a juvenile hall in Denver Colorado and end up coming across a few familiar faces. The first one is none other than Trent Boyett from season 8's "Preschool". Just like before, it seems that he's been keeping track of current events in South Park and confronts me during lunch.

"Can I help you?"

"Ok, you and I both know that you could just bust out of here any time you want. Why are you here, Dovahkiin? Are you on some mission or something?" Yep, this guy definitely still keeps up with the South Park gossip here.

I turned around to face him before responding, "You know, I thought you were gonna be all pissed off at me since I'm Kenny's best friend or whatever."

"I'm angry at him, not you. You never did anything to me. Besides, even if you did, I'm not an idiot. I've seen the movie Hancock and I do not want to know what having someone's head shoved up my ass feels like."

"Good call. As for your question, I didn't want to become a criminal on the run for something so stupid, especially when I can get pardoned by the U.S. president if I show some patience. However, my reason now is just plain old curiosity. I've heard plenty about South Park's past as well and I'm curious to see if any other old South Parker faces are in here."

"Never thought I would see someone so obsessed with that crazy ass town but considering the powers and fame you got, it was for good reason. I'm sure Josh would pique your interest."

'Josh? Where have I heard that name before?'

"You don't want to talk to him for too long. That guy is really good at getting in your head." He points over to a kid on the other side of the mess hall and I instantly recognize him as the guy from season 7's "Toilet Paper".

"He's in here for toilet-papering the fucking White House of all places. The guy's one hell of a crazy bastard but he keeps his word when he says he's gonna do something no matter how outrageous it is, even if it's South Parker crazy."

(A/N: He was shown doing that at the end of Season 7's "Toilet Paper")

"Thanks for the tip." I get up and walk over to him.

"Oh, and who might you be? I haven't seen you around these parts before, you must be new. With the wave of shootings going on, I'm assuming you're one of society's unfortunate victims."

"Not quite, Josh. I'm just popping by for a quick visit. So, I heard you toilet-papered the White House? Pretty ballsy of you but I suppose everyone has their dreams. You're just lucky you got around to doing yours before I came into power and achieved mine."

"Came into power you say? Now what might you mean by... holy shit, you're actually the Dovahkiin?" He breaks his Hannibal Lecter impression half way through and looks at me like I'm a god or something as I summon a tiny purple flame in my hand.

"The one and only."

"Woah. Are you on a secret mission or something?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? The thing with the ads was a one time thing... although I guess you could count the member berries too. I'm just hanging out here until my bitch- I mean the U.S. president bails me out."

'Which should be happening soon, right?'

Spongebob Narrator - "One Week Later"