How to Survive South Park

Show's Over

The water level he had to go through must have taken more than a couple of tries. Combine that with everything else that's happened in the last few hours and well... I was wondering when the powder keg would go off.

"I am going to wear your entrails as SWEATPANTS!"

"Nooooo, ignorant!"

Twas never a matter of if, only when.

"Hey Ken, you can stop holding back now. Just try not to kill the others by accident; reversing time still takes a lot out of me."

"About fucking time!" Kenny then powers up to grim fate and instantly appears right in front of Michael Jackson (that's what I'm calling him from now on 'cause that's who he fucking is) and goes in for what should be a one shot KO but the guy somehow dodges the hit, then the next and the next.

I look on in shock as Michael Jackson somehow dodges every attack Kenny throws at him.

'The fuck? Does this guy have Ultra Instinct or something? How's he doing that?' I look over at Damien who shrugs.

First the ads, then the demons, and now him. What is with everyone here being way stronger than in canon? Either the butterfly effect is a bitch (ads) or the show did a terrible job showing their true power (demons) or maybe a bit of both.

I watch bemused as the supposed to be dead celebrity moonwalks towards Kenny and spins around which ends up with the vigilante being bitch-slapped and sent flying through the front wall of the restaurant.

"Hmm, unexpected, but not altogether unpleasant." Damien comments.

"So are you gonna step in now or what?"

"Why should I care? I can just pretend that I was never here and-"

Damien's phone buzzes as he's talking and from what I can see, it's a text from his dad. After a few seconds, most of his phone case turns from black to red and starts to emit smoke before it explodes in Damien's hand.

"$!(&$)! HOW THE #%&(% IS THIS MY RESPONSIBILITY?!" Looks like dear old dad dumped this chore on him. Fine by me, having the extra set of hands wouldn't hurt.

"So, what do we do?"

"*sigh* I guess I better make a portal to hell so you can push him thr-" He stops his brainstorming and a literal demonic grin appears on his face as his entire body begins to glow red.

A blood red aura then surrounds him as he ascends into the air and his power skyrockets. I guess he's gonna do this the old fashioned way. The ground trembles as beams of bright red light shoot all over the restaurant.

The spectators are still applauding as they think this is still all part of the show. Well, if they're looking for a show, we might as well give them one.

Damien drops back down in the same state he fought Kenny and I in before with two devil horns sprouting from his forehead, glowing red eyes, and a look that could kill. His antichrist powers are on full display with him now being stronger than ever. I guess he didn't take his previous loss to Kenny too well.

Damien lets out a beastly growl and then chuckles with a ghostly echo now accompanying his voice before teleporting right in front of me in a cloud of dark red and black smoke.

"New plan."

(A/N: Just to be clear, bold text when speaking = Ghastly echo accompanying the speaker's voice and the speaker is most likely completely pissed as all hell)