How to Survive South Park

Get it all Together

"Ugh, you think you can stop the ads? The Dragonborn's gonna kill you, Jim. You and your buddies turned him away. You shunned and abandoned him after he did his best to help you! What he does next is because of you!"

"Oh, I'm well aware of that, Nathan. Only what he does next won't be what you or Leslie would ever expect." I then knock him out and speed towards Timmy's house with Officer Barbrady in tow. The gun show is close to starting and we're gonna need all hands and crutches on deck.

Kenny's POV:

I'm in my Mysterion costume as I spy on both Stan's family and Garrison's group. Craig is actually with them this time around since he and Stan have been trying to get to the bottom of the changes in South Park after dealing with the yaoi problem. The other kids are currently being rounded up by Cartman.

Randy shows off the ad with Leslie and PC Principal and Stan immediately realizes that Dovah was the one responsible for carrying out the ads' plan. He beat up PCs to get them in line, he distracted everyone using the asian girls' drawings and he turned all his friends away to be with Leslie.

After the realization hits, Randy speaks up.

"Well then, it's time to go ask Dovahkiin why he sold out his own kind." Now should be a good time to make my badass entrance.

"Dovahkiin is doing nothing of the sort. He's a double agent for us."

"Kenny? What are you doing here?"

"Mysterion, Stan. Superhero identities are supposed to be kept a secret, dude. Also, we've been planning to take down the ads for ages now. Everything that happened with Dovah was staged. Ask Craig for confirmation."

Craig confirms that this was a part of my so-called 'stupid ass team-wrecking plan' and I give them a brief rundown on the ads and the planned final battle at the gun show.

We all then hop in Katelyn's car and speed over there. Time to finally end this.

Cartman's POV:

"Don't you think this is a bit much, dude?" The jew's been bitching at me for the last few hours and I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I know Timmy said to bring as much backup as possible but did Kyle really have to be a part of this?

"Would you quit your bitchin' already, Jew? We need these guns to protect ourselves!"

"At the Gunshow?"

"YES, at the Gunshow!"

"Be nice to your friends, poopsikins."

"Shut up, mom."

"Ok, what the hell is going on, Cartman? I can see your Coon costume underneath your coat. What the hell are you getting us into?"

"NOTHING, KAHL! It's just in case there's someone in trouble. A superhero never rests!"

"Cartman, you haven't gone around as the Coon for years. There's been plenty of crime since then, most of which you've started."

"Can you just, ugh, please be a quiet jew, ok? No loud jews allowed in the car. You're lucky I'm even allowing jews in the car to begin with." God I hate him. But I hate Leslie more. I just hope I'm first in line to kill that advertisement bitch.

Dovah's POV:

Fuck. This is it. I'm literally flying to the gunshow with Leslie on my back right now. Anyone with half a brain, much less Leslie, can see that I'm shivering from sheer nervousness.

She gives my hand a squeeze and reassures me that she will be right by my side to help when we get there. I doubt she'll be saying that when I double cross her. Damn, why did this have to be so soon? Couldn't I just have a few more days with her?

When we get there, Garrison's group plus a few extra additions like Mysterion and Craig have already taken the audience hostage.

"Listen to me, everyone! There are beings who are purposefully gentrifying the Earth so that humans can no longer afford it!" I guess it's time then. I just have to wait for the signal.

"DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!" I shout as I head in with Leslie.

I repeat Kyle's claim in canon and then Jimmy or rather Fastpass makes his entrance.

"You a-a-ads think you're sooo clever, don't you? Trying to control all of us through lies, manipulation, and deceit? That's Cartman's job!"

An "EY!" is heard before Jimmy continues.

Oh god, this is it.

"Well n-n-news flash, ads. You are the ones who have been getting played all along. We've known about you and your genocide plans for ages now."

Deep breaths. You can do this. She's an ad. It's an ad.

"You are the ones who fell right into our ha-ha-hands. And now, we're gonna shut you off once and for all."

That's the cue. That's what I've literally been planning for almost two fucking years. This is it. Goodbye... Leslie.

I close my tear-filled eyes, form a soul slash, and swing it at Leslie.

"What are you doing, Dii?" And she fucking catches it before punching me so hard, I get sent flying across the stadium.