I Am No Jedi: Ahsoka x Reader

Chapter 47

yeet okay well i hope y'all enjoying the story. also there's just something about aayla that makes her a great mother/older sister figure...i can't decide which. additionally, i send my apologies. i feel like when characters have a crush on each other they stay in character, but once the relationship develops to a certain point they kinda get OOC. just try your best to use your imagination i guess lol, and let me know if it's just me who feels this way. happy reading!

"I know I shouldn't have done that," y/n confessed.

He sat cross-legged on a small square mat in a meditation chamber. In front of him Aayla was in the same position, her eyes closed.

"I don't know, I was just, angry? Annoyed? It's been a week. Ahsoka's incompetency in training has made me question her ability." As he spoke he knew it wasn't true. The Togruta was more than competent. She could kick his butt if she wanted to. Something important was on her mind, and he should have been trying to help instead of pushing her further away.

Aayla's eyes opened and she gazed at him, her expression ruminative.

"I understand where you're coming from, y/n, but that's the wrong path to take." She cocked her head slightly. "And judging by you being here, you know it too. Cleanse the anger, my Padawan. It's not healthy to have those emotions collect, and even worse to project them onto a friend like Ahsoka."

The Twi'lek paid attention to his body language as she called Ahsoka his friend. He didn't flinch, nor was there a change or expression. But she could sense a small rift within him.

"You already know what to do," she said. "You knew when you came into the room. You felt guilty for treating Ahsoka like that. You didn't come for advice, y/n."

Aayla smiled at him and then gazed around the room. She was silent for a few moments as she then closed her eyes, sensing the golden sunshine filter into the room and bathing her skin.

y/n followed suit, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. He expelled his anger and irritation with the exhale, and let the warmth stream in instead. Simply by being there with his Master and breathing, he felt a little better.

"No, you didn't come for advice," Aayla repeated, gently. Her voice was much closer now. He felt her hands on his shoulders, but at the same time knew she was still seated more than an arm's length away. He was sensing her through the Force.

"You came for support, for the courage to do the thing you know is right. I'm here, y/n. Stay a while with me, if you want. But after, go and talk with Ahsoka and apologise."

A knock. Then y/n let himself in.

Ahsoka's dorm was dark, the window covered and letting only a small streak of dusty white light in from the edges.

"Hello there, Stripey," he said.

"Hey, n/n," she responded quietly. She was seated on the cot, cross-legged, and had also been meditating. But once y/n entered she had paused.

" – I'm sorry – "

They both said at the same time. There was an awkward pause and then y/n laughed and stepped over, sitting beside her on the cot.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, 'Soka. I'm sorry for being a kriffnut and behaving like I did. It was insensitive of me and I'm here to apologise." He exhaled. "And I'm sorry for being a jerk on our previous mission. I...I guess it's the war. I'm taking it more seriously than I did before. I wasted too much time putting myself first, but now I know I shouldn't. It's my duty to the clones and to the galaxy to fight. I realised that too late, and there are too many good men already gone."

They were both silent for a while, reflecting. Ahsoka reached over slowly and touched his tattooed hand. His fingertips reached towards hers and he played with the nail on her index.

She felt so relieved. He was talking, revealing his thoughts and feelings. Even if it was just a little, she felt like they had back to some of the friendship. A small smile played on her lips as she watched their touching fingers.

"I'm sorry, too. I've been stuck in the past. In a memory that just replays over and over and I can't get it out of my head." She stopped and shook her head. "I'm sorry about Onderon...and Steela."

She didn't want to mention Lux's name, but still wanted to apologise for blaming him. It had gnawed at her brain ever since, and she had felt so bad for holding him liable for Steela's death, but never had been able to say sorry. Until now.

"Oh yeah?" he gave a small grin. "What memory? Is it of me when I beat you at the obstacle course when we were younglings? Tell me that hasn't haunted you for this long."

"No, you banther fodder," she gave him a little shove and their hands moved apart.

A pause.

"Well, you wanna tell me?"

She felt a small wave of anger wash over her, then pushed it back down. She had been meditating to get rid of that emotion, as well as sadness. y/n kissing Trios. How could he just not think of that? Surely it was something he knew he had done wrong. He did apologise for his behaviour on Sho-Torun, but she knew he meant the flirting. The kiss had been something major. Surely, he would have known what she was talking about. But looking in his face she did not detect a single clue.

She hesitated, then opened her mouth.

"It's...in the cockpit. When we escaped from the ship."

"Um...okay?" y/n replied quizzically. "What did I do? Fart?"

"Shut up," Ahsoka burst out. "It's not funny. Please."

He shifted beside her and momentarily their shoulders touched.

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

The Togruta sighed and braced herself. The only way she could deliver her words would be if she forced them out without thinking.

"YoukissedTriosinthecockpitandit'sallI'vebeenthinkingabout."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You kissed Trios in the cockpit and it's all I've been thinking about."

"No, I...heard that. I mean what, as in what are you talking about?" y/n pulled away to look at her. He cocked his head and frowned. In his face there was no anger, guilt or embarrassment, only confusion.

"I never kissed Trios."

"But I saw you do it..." Ahsoka stammered, thrown off course. "You did it right in front of me, as if to make a point."

y/n barked a sort of laugh, without any humour. "'Soka, I think you're on meds or something. You must have imagined it. I never kissed her. I'd never kiss Trios. Not someone like her, at least."

Not someone like her. The words echoed in Ahsoka's mind. Did he mean to say it like that? Or was it just a response? Maybe she was thinking too much.

Suddenly he reached over and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She felt his strong body against her own athletic figure; his warmth spread into her. Ahsoka felt safe there, and then the heat rushed to her cheeks. But neither of them pulled away for a long while.

"We good?" y/n asked as they finally did.

She nodded in response.

But now both of them felt just that connection spark again. y/n could fight as hard as he could to put Ahsoka out of his mind, but he knew it would be futile. Try as he might, she was here to stay, and he was glad of it.

i love lana del rey so much

Sorry, I guess I didn't make it clear enough. y/n never kissed Trios, Ahsoka just had this weird vision/idea/thought/hallucination that he did...kinda like some weird 'nightmare'/'daymare' she had? If that makes sense

a tad bit short, sorry! let me know what you think :D the next mission's gonna be explosive and awesome...i hope. see you then