The Tales of love- II

61.5:"To talk"

"You want me to marry you?" She leans into her chair to observe this man, "Why? I am grateful for your help with my daughter. I don't think I will accept the help if it comes with such a price".

"No". His voice was sharper, "I will help you even if you refuse my request. You can have direct contact with Rohan if you don't want to see me again".

"Then why do you want me to be your wife?"

"Why not?" He challenges, "You are an exceptional woman".

"You mean three failed marriages and a daughter?"

"Especially with three failed marriages and a daughter".

"Why?"

He sighs, "Look, I will tell you the details". He pauses and she can see the hesitation, "I was married to a woman my mother choose for me a long time ago. It was alright. There wasn't much of an issue with the marriage. At least, not until a little later. It started with my wife not accepting any form of affection or intimacy unless I get her something for it. I didn't mind, of course, I had enough of it. She wanted a weekly cheque which was fine for me. Then, she announced she was pregnant. She said she doesn't want a child now because it will ruin her. I had no idea what to do since it is haram to kill a child. We used protection so I wasn't sure what went wrong. I tried to convince her that I will support her as much as I could". He sighs, "It went off the rail. She expects more money and I provided her. Everything was as ok as it could be until the day my baby girl was born. I was beyond happy to have a girl. Her mother wasn't". He grimace, "It was a few days after my daughter came back home that I found my wife choking her".

She gasps, "What?"

"Yeah. It was late at night. I usually wake up to feed my daughter because I know she needs milk and her mother refused to feed her any. Her mother also said she hates to have our daughter in our room because she ruins her sleep. Anyways, I was sleepy so I didn't check if my wife was in the room or not. Just as I entered my daughter's room, I saw my wife with a pillow over my daughter's face". His hands shook, "It was horrifying. I screamed until my throat hurts and remove my wife away from my daughter. You would think she will feel guilty or scared after she was caught in the act. She was laughing". He clenched his jaw, "She was laughing when I was crying, screaming, and was trying to figure out how to help my daughter".

"Where is your daughter?"

"Dead".

"What about your wife?"

"She is in rehab".

"Why did she do that?"

He took a deep breath, "She had issues. She wasn't prepared to be married because she didn't find men attractive in general. She never liked intimacy which was why she declined to marry me, at least, unofficially. Her parents forced her into it. So, as much as I was intimate or affectionate towards her, she was losing her mind. Adding a child as a result of something she hates only made things worse. She said she hated me. She wanted me to suffer how she had been suffering silently, so she took one thing of mine that she knew could never come back".

She didn't feel remorse or anger towards his wife as she imagined. Nor did she feel that he was angry with his wife.

"What do you think about all of this?"

"It shows how much mental health and personal opinion are still taboo. Getting married is still considered to be the endgame for everyone. That you cannot share your mental illness or problems with your spouse. That you can't burden them in any way especially a woman to a man who is responsible for her and will be questioned directly by their Lord. That not being attracted or not liking affection is considered something of a norm. No one teaches you that being married is just another task. That it is important to find your spouse attractive. Without, the attraction it will lose its charm very soon. I know it's famous about heart should be good enough. That doesn't disregard that, some, if not most need attraction. And somehow they are the bad ones".