59.3: "Too good to be true"

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It was like that.

A feeling so immense that it feels like she needs to end herself. A feeling where she couldn't even breathe. A feeling where this world now looks as temporary as it truly was.

What was worse?

The people, of course.

She wasn't looking for their sympathy anyways. But, she wasn't looking for their comments.

The first day she didn't even believe that her father was gone. She remembers she silently went to her neighbour asking Aloom to follow her until she brought him to her father's body. Aloom took over the matters real quick.

She didn't want to shout or cry especially near her father's body knowing that her religion prohibit that. And, that, her father's body might suffer from her veiling.

Her mother came by too. Just to say that she was all alone, again. She didn't even show a second of consciousness when she asked what she plans to do next.

She didn't reply.

She just sits in her room while Aloom updated her throughout the whole procedure of the funeral.

Then, her father was buried.

All she heard people say was how a young girl is all alone and there is no one for her. How a young girl will take care of all the activities needed after the funeral.

As if, her father taught her religion that was real. And, she knows for a fact that she was supposed to mourn for the next three days, not feed the whole population just to hear them say that the food wasn't good or enough. She also knows that the reading of the Quran and everything was also not part of her religion. The only thing that can help her father was his own deeds and if she plants a tree, donate Quran or such. Nothing else will help.

So, for the next three days, she stayed in her father's room looking at the ceiling as people gives their condolences. The people from her work helped her immensely even more than people she had known her whole life.

"Are you going to stay like this all your life?" Her mother screamed banging the door of her father's room open, "You need to move on with your life. Dead don't come back".

She felt her heartbreak.

She obviously knows about deaths. She has witnessed deaths after deaths while working in the army. Some of her friends and other of her colleagues. She knows how death works. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

"Why are you here?" She asked, sitting on the bed as her hair fall on her shoulder, "I don't see any reason for you to be here. In my father's place".

"You are an ungrateful brat". Her mother snapped, "I need to get you married before I leave".

"Excuse me?" She asked bewildered, "What do you mean?"

"You are of age". Her mother pauses, "I planned this trip because your sister found a proper man for herself and they want to get married. I don't want people to say that I didn't care about you enough. I want you to get married since you are older than her".

"Step-sister". She spoke, "And my father never gave you the right to make any decisions in my life. I will not marry for your pride/reputation to stay intact".

"Is this what your father taught you?"

"Don't bring my father into this". She shouted, "He was more of a parent than you will ever be. Take your things and leave my place right now".

"You will not survive without a man".

"I don't need one to live".

She slammed the door on her face before running back to her father's bed. Even if it's four days his scent still linger in his room. She remembers those nights she was afraid and he would stay awake with her in his bed and tell her how he will fight everyone for her.

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