51.5:"Hesitation of the hearts".

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I wanna move away
and never come back.
I can't go anywhere
the memories are too much to take.

If only I could
go back in time I would not have
to run and leave my friends.

I would love to have
never met you
but then I never would
have met any of them.

I  know I wouldn't be me now
If I didn't date you then.

-Daciana

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TRIGGER WARNING!!!!

⚠️

________________

He sits in his house as he remembers her words. He didn't say anything to her, he just left. He needed time because his past was something he can't think of without breaking down.

He can feel his body crumbling under the weight of the memory he had locked away.

The memory of his mother's death- or better her suicide.

"Bhai?" He heard Maya panicked voice as she comes near him, "Bhai, what's wrong?"

"It can't be". He said hoarsely as he brings his knees closer to himself, "It can't be. I can't do this, Maya. I can't-".

Maya panicked watching how she can't stop whatever was happening to him so she fetched her phone.

"Babar". He heard her (Zara's) voice which held concern and he shakes his head, "Babar, it's ok. You're ok".

"I am not". He snapped not in his senses, "I feel like someone is suffocating me. I feel like someone is taking my life away from me".

"Because you are allowing that to happen". She said softly, "Remember what you said when I told you it's best that I die?"

"To trust me?"

She nodded, "When I can trust you. I thought why is it that I will doubt the creator of the universe. I thought long and hard that HE is managing my life, HE wrote it for me. Why is it that I can trust a human-made by HIM over and over again and won't put that same level of trust in HIS plans for me".

"Do you think HE will do what's best?"

"HE made us. HE can't be unfair. HE has no reasons, emotions and standards for HIS people. HE has set a time for everyone and we can only wait for the right time".

He nodded understanding, "Why are you here?"

"For you". She said smiling and he felt something within him

Now that he thought, he had never seen her smile. She always looked blank, empty and lost. She looks worried, stressed and scared. But, she never looks close to being at peace. What had life done to this beautiful soul?

"What did he do to my mother?"

"You didn't say, my father". She noticed

"He can't be categorized in fatherhood. And whatever he did was his doing. I am sure you were not involved and I have been thinking that my father never told me why was I supposed to hate you".

She sighs, "My father and your mother loved each other".

His eyes widen, "What?"

"Yes. I found about it when you helped me broke my marriage. My father was vivid and shouting, screaming as usual- he said the story in-between". She took a deep breath, "He said he loved your mother. He went to ask for her hand but because he was lower in status, her father rejected him. He was mad at that, he asked your mother to run away but she didn't. Instead, once your mother's father came to know about her love story he found a groom for her (his father) and married her off. My father found about it after she was married and went to ask her about it. That's when your father found out and they had a fight".

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