Venus Serene

Trying to recover

It's the next day. Why did I wake up. I should have stayed sleep. Forever.

I was still laying on Eli's chest and he was holding me tight. I didn't want him to let me go. I was scared for him to let me go. A part of me was scared to lose him like I just lost my mom so if holding onto him as tight as I can somehow prevents him from going somewhere to get himself hurt or killed then that's what I'm gonna do. 

"Venus, baby" "hm?" "I'm not going anywhere, ok?" He reassures me. "Okay" Is all I could manage to get out without crying. I didn't want to cry anymore because it  hurt too bad to think of her..dead. "Venus, do you want me to run you a bath?" "Please don't leave me" "ok, baby." He kissed my forehead and held me tighter. 

We sat there for a little while longer until I eventually fell back asleep. 

Eli's pov

I gently shook Venus to see if she was sleep and she was so I placed her on her pillow and went into the bathroom and turned the bathtub on. I didn't make it too hot because I knew it would sting because of all of the scars she has on her. 

When she fell into my arms and started crying yesterday I knew her mom didn't make it out. I felt so bad. I've seen her in pain before but that was a different type of cry for a different type of pain. I know we're gonna get through it together but I honestly don't know how long it's gonna take. I just want her to be ok again. 

After everything she's been through...she deserves to be happy so after all of this is over I'm gonna do everything and anything I can if it means making her happy again. I hate seeing her like that, she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve the things that have happened to her. 

She deserves to be happy, she deserves all the good things in the world that makes life worth living. I love her so much, it hurts so bad to see her not happy. I don't want to see her in pain anymore, especially when she doesn't deserve it. 

I added a lavender scent and then put her washcloth on the side of the tub when I heard glass shatter from downstairs. I ran out the bathroom and Venus wasn't in bed anymore. I ran out the room and downstairs where there was glass everywhere from broken decorations.

Venus was holding a piece of glass against her chest. "Venus...put the glass down, please put it down" "no, I don't want to be here anymore, Eli" "I know, amore, I understand how you feel right now but we can get through this together. I'm always gonna be here for you, Venus."

"I know but..I can't do this anymore. I'm tired" She says while tears start to form. "Yes you can, Venus. You're the strongest person I know. After everything you've been through you're still alive for a reason. We need you, amore. We love you. I don't know what I would do without you. Please put the glass down." I stepped closer but she backed up.

My heart was skipping five beats at a time every time she moved the glass in her hand. "I'm better off dead" "no you're not, amore. I promise you're not. Everything is gonna be ok and we're gonna get through this, I promise. I don't break my promises, amore."

I walked closer to her but this time she didn't move so I kept walking, slowly. "Venus, look at me" She looked at me and my eyes met hers. "Everything is gonna be ok" She nodded her head and slowly took the glass away from her chest. "I'm gonna take this, ok?" "Ok."

I took it and threw it on the ground and then hugged her, bringing her head to my chest as she collapsed into my arms. "I don't wanna be here anymore, Eli" She could barely say from crying. "Please don't say that, amore. Please don't."

She continued crying in my arms as I brought her over to the couch and sat down with her. I didn't know what to do. I knew how it felt to not want to be here but I was honestly scared. What if I'm not around and she does something to hurt herself, it would be my fault because I wasn't watching her.