We were never meant to be

Chapter forty-two

Four months later
Aaron
"Kayla cheesecakes? What's taking you so long? We're going to be late." I call Kayla. She's at her hotel room and I'm waiting outside of it for her.
After we finished the first college year, we came home for the summer. It's mid July. Kayla and I along with Ryan and Kony, which have been acting a bit weird lately might I add, are at a hotel, near a nice beach. We decided we all needed the vacation.
I was the one who suggested it, but not because I wanted to go for a vacation. I mean sure it's nice, but I also did it because I remember what Kony said back then on Christmas. How they haven't had a normal, fun summer since Kayla was 14. And I decided it was going to be the last time that happened. She wasn't going to lose out on anything anymore. She and her friends. Not on my watch.
So with the help of all our parents and a bit from Ryan, we rented two rooms at a good enough hotel for a week. Kony and Kayla have their own room, while I'm sharing one with Ryan.
And I am currently waiting for Kayla to come out of her room so we can join Ryan and Kony on a tavern nearby.
"Cheesecakes you're worrying me." I shout behind the door and not five seconds later I hear the door juggling and then opening. Before me stands a stunning angel.
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't find my shoes. You know I'm never late." She explains, but I'm not moving. Or living for that matter. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" She whispers and I force myself to bring my eyes to her and not do a triple take.
"Make a guess." I reply and her breath gets caught. "You're killing me with all these dresses." She scoffs.
"The last time I wore a dress was...when was it?" She wonders.
"17th March." I reply. Knowing the exact date.
"Exactly! I haven't worn a dress in months." She says and I just clench my jaw.
"Yet it seems like it was yesterday, because it's all I think about." I mumble. Her eyes widen. Then, without any control over me, I do that triple take. She has on this beautiful white dress. It's sleeveless, with straps. It's a weapon, to test my sanity. "Let's get the hell out of here. I can't be with you alone. I need Kony's and Ryan's presence." After what feels like an eternity, Kayla closes her hotel door and we both go to join them.
***
"K, you know I love you, but I'm with Kony on this." Ryan tells Kayla from his seat on the table. He's sitting next to Kony, while Kayla and I are sitting together in front of them. Kayla gasps.
"BB?! You're betraying me already?!" I can barely contain the smile on my face.
"No, no!" Ryan says too quickly. I share a look with Kony. She's clearly amused too. "I'm just agreeing with Kony on this occasion. That's all." He explains and Kayla huffs.
"It looks to me like you're agreeing a lot with Kony lately, on multiple occasions." She responds and this time I don't hold the grin that spreads in my face.
Now Ryan gasps.
"K! That's not true!" Kayla just intertwines her arms and turns her head away. It's like a live soap-opera.
"Kayl, I promise you." Kony starts saying. "He doesn't side with me. At all." Oops wrong move Kony. Kayla turns her head immediately.
"How would you know?" She asks eyeing them. I'm right behind her. "I thought you've only met three times. Twice with us and once you had to take Addie to him. Right?" God I love when she's all interrogation mode. Even on the cases we have or the school stuff, or when she questions people and their intentions, without batting an eyelash. She does this head tilt and... it's so hot.
I need to sort out my thoughts. Even though it's not easy with Kayla standing next to me, with nothing more than a sleeveless dress. I clear my throat.
"Cheesecake's right. Care to elaborate, brother?" I smirk at him. Finally my time of revenge is here. Kony has a simple blush in her cheeks, but otherwise she's not showing anything. She's quiet. Almost too quiet. Ryan on the other hand looks like a chuffing train. Steam is coming out of his ears as he shoots me a glare. My smirk widens.
"So? Stop staring at us like that. Share with the group won't you?" Kayla teases and I could kiss her right now.
"I feel betrayed K. Right here in the heart." Ryan shoves his fist on his chest, acting hurt.
"Well now you know how I feel." She responds, drying a fake tear. Such drama queens. Kony just roll her eyes, but she still hasn't said anything.
"Well? Answer us. Unless you have something to hide." I direct it to Ryan. I don't want to make Kony uncomfortable, but I cannot skip this wonderful opportunity.
"We have nothing to hide." Ryan replies.
"Emphasis on the 'we'." Kayla whispers to me loudly. I grin at her.
"Ryan and I have been going out for some time." Kony says out of nowhere.
"What?!" The three of us lurch our heads at her.
"We've just hang out together lately." She says simple as that.
"I knew it!" Jumps Kayla from her chair, but she doesn't calculate the position of the table, because she hits her knee under it.
"Freaking shooting table!" She 'curses'. I laugh. She shoots me a glare and that's all it takes. I shut my mouth up. "I'm so clumsy." She whispers rubbing the spot she hurt on her knee.
"You're my clumsy cheesecakes." I whisper, coming near her and she sighs. "That made you feel better?"
"I guess." She pouts sweetly. I want to kiss those pretty lips, which is exactly why I go back to my old position, only to find Ryan and Kony mumbling.
"No heck no. No getting your stories straight. We want the truth." I say waving my hand in front of them. Kayla's head snaps up. They stop muttering and turn to us.
"When did this start?" Kayla motions with her finger between the two of them, still rubbing her knee. I frown. I didn't know she hurt it that much.
"On New Year's." Mumbles Ryan.
"On New Year's?!" Shouts Kayla. "You've been hiding this from us since New Year's?!" She asks, disbelief coating her throat. She then turns to me. "Can you believe that? On New Year's?!" I go along with her. Loyal to my cheesecakes 'till the end.
"Unbelievable! Completely uncomprehending! Straight outrageous! Def-''
"I think we understood." Ryan cuts in.
"I could go on." I smirk.
"We know genius boy." Kony doesn't miss a beat. I scoff.
"I'm not a genius." I say with disgust, as if being a genius is a bad thing. It kinda is for me.
"Aaron as much as I don't want to agree with them right now, you are." Kayla says. I just roll my eyes.
"Cheesecakes they're just trying to avoid our line of questioning. Don't let them." I tell her and she nods.
"Yes you're right. But you're still a genius." She says and then turns to Kony and Ryan again.
"So? New Year's! And what is exactly has been going on since New Year's?" Kayla continues. I love how much she's saying 'New Year's'. We both wait for their answer.
"Nothin' much. We've just been hangin' out. Y'know as pals and shit." Ryan says in the most not normal way to ever exist.
"Smooth." Kony says besides him. Ryan just huffs.
"I can't believe you didn't tell us." Kayla says.
"Oh you mean just like you two didn't tell us when you kissed." Kony responds instantly. Kayla freezes and blushes, while I just clamp my mouth shut.
"Exactly! Now what was that all about?! Our time to grill you!" Ryan exclaims.
"There's no need to grill us for anything. It was a mistake. One which will not get repeated." Even though I've heard it a million times, it still doesn't lessen the sting when it's delivered. I flinch again, but Ryan and Kayla don't notice. Only Kony, but she acts like she didn't.
"Right we've heard that a hundred times." Ryan replies.
"It's true. Aaron tell them." Kayla says turning to me. She probably sees my state, because she then adds. "Or don't." I just clear my throat and shake my head.
"No um, Kayla's right. That will not be happening anytime soon." I say. Wow it's like I want to hurt myself more by saying those words. But it's not. It's that I don't want to hurt her more, by not saying them.
"Or ever." Kayla adds. I close my eyes, trying to get my breathing to slow down. Trying to find a way to ease the pain. It's impossible.
"Well it doesn't matter." Kony starts. "Either way, you kept something from us, we did the same, let's just not keep things from each-other anymore." She finishes and I shoot her a thankful look for changing the current subject we were on.
"Yeah okay." Ryan mumbles.
"Okay, but so what? Are you guys dating now?" Kayla asks.
"No!" Both Ryan and Kony reply in unison. More like shout in unison.
"Jeez, way to sound chill guys." Kayla says smiling. I still am trying to swallow the whole thing, but I smile. I'm just not ready to talk yet. "Tell us when you figure it out." She sings and then looks only at Ryan.
"You want to go dance? I'm tired of these conversations."
"K! I thought you'd never ask." Ryan responds and a grin appears on her face. They both get up and I try not to curse under my breath, while Kayla passes in front of me with that white dress.
"So we're good?" She asks Ryan as they start walking away.
"Hell yeah we're good! No one else gets us K! We need to stick with each-other." He replies immediately.
"Agreed." I hear Kayla say before they voices are too crowded by the music and the distance to distinguish.
"Aren't you going to join them?" I ask Kony from my seat.
"Not just yet." She says and I nod. Too distracted with Kayla dancing to even form a sentence now. "You?" She asks.
"I don't dance." I reply. Kony just hums.
"So how are you dealing with it?" She asks out of nowhere and I'm confused, but I don't stray my eyes away.
"Dealing with what?"
"With Kayla." She says as if that should explain something to me. She must see my confusion and noncooperation, because she speaks again. "I know you're in love with her Aaron." That gets my attention. I meet her gaze. "Kayla told me about that night. Even though it was two months later, she did and even if she hadn't, it's quite obvious. Anyone would tell. Actually anyone can tell." She explains. "So I'm asking you again? How are you dealing with this situation?" She looks at me waiting for an answer, but the truth is I don't know. I am dealing with it by not dealing with it. So I just shrug. "Look, I know you're not much of a talker, but tell you the truth, I'm more worried about you than her." She presses on. Well I guess Kony's the girl version of me, because she won't give up on this, a tactic I'm familiar with.
"And I don't know what to tell you. I'm just being there. I'm not doing anything about it. I'm only doing what she wants of me, of us. We know we can't lose each-other, but she also won't take the next step. I don't except her to take her next step now, or even two, four years from now. But what about after? What about later on? Will she always refuse me? Won't she even consider the possibility of us? I'm trying. I'm trying not to lose my hope, but since that damn night, I feel like she'll be leaving at any moment. And I...I.." I swallow the lump in my throat. "I don't think I will survive if she leaves." I finish and then sit back on my chair.
"She can't." Kony whispers.
"What?"
"She can't consider a possibility of you. Because if she does, she knows she'll fall for it, for a lie. For a future that's never possible. She doesn't want to take that away from you and even though I strongly disagree, because she deserves to be happy more than all of us here, I also understand where she comes from. I can't be mad at her for it, but I'm also frustrated on this decision she has made." When she stops talking, tears have formed in her eyes. Kony may not have experienced first hand all the things that happened to Kayla, but she was there living them with her. Going through them with her. She had to see her best friend's name be dragged through the mud, had to lose a friend to suicide too, had to be there and watch her sister break and not be able to do anything about it. And then later she had to find out that she can't be an aunt. Can't experience the joy of knowing Kayla's future children.
"I know Kony. Which is why I'm not mad at her either. I'm just hurt. And not by her, but I hurt for her. The decisions she has to make, the every day life she has to live knowing the consequences of these choices, just so she can see me happy. But I just need her to understand that I will never be happy without her. She doesn't believe me on this. She won't." This is so messed up. It's just plain never ending agony at this point.
"I'll help you." Kony says surprising me. I look at her, that shock very evident on my face. "I'll help you with this. I'll try to convince her that you don't mind this, that this should happen and that it's okay. I'll get Ryan to help us too. Not that that'll be hard." She says smiling a bit. I mirror her smile. "Maybe you can tell the friends that you guys have in Boston, you know, to talk to her about it too." Kony suggests, but I shake my head at that.
"They don't know about her past and unless she tells them, I'm not interfering on that." I explain and Kony nods.
"Well then it'll just be the three of us. Maybe we can throw in Annie and Addie too." She says smiling more.
"Yes. Maybe even the parents."
"Good idea."
"Yeah."
"Even the girls." Kony adds.
"Great idea." I say back and we both laugh. I feel a bit better now. Now that I know that our people are on my side. On our side. Kayla may not understand it now, but this is the best for everyone. "Thank you." I say to Kony. She nods in acknowledgment.
"I'm doing it more for her than for you. Just thought you should know." She says and I smile big.
"Well Kony that's the thing. I'm doing it for the same reason." I reply. I see her eyes water again.
"Great then. Since everything is settled, I am going to finally join them." Kony says, while getting up from her chair. "You should too." She adds before she leaves the table. I see her go to them. Kayla's massive happiness at the fact that her friend went to them, is captivating. Contagious.
They talk some more and I see Kony telling Kayla something. She then proceeds to look at me. Well I hope Kony didn't betray me and told Kayla what we spoke of.
Kayla's still looking at me and then she's walking in my direction. Oh oh. Kony wouldn't do that now, would she?
Kayla reaches our table and stops, looking at me.
"What is your problem?" Okay so here's the plan, I'll try to play dumb until I no longer can. Hey that rimed.
"What did I do now?" I ask all innocent.
"Kony told me that you won't come to dance. Now that is unacceptable. You will come and you will dance with us. It's sad. This you're doing, it's just sad. No one should sit alone while their friends are having fun without him." She says, but the relief in me it's so potent, my knees would have bent if I were standing.
"Cheesecakes. There's no need to hold a speech. Nothing would stop me from coming to you, if you asked me of it. Just a simple 'dance with me' would have done the trick." I respond to her, but she's not saying anything. Stuck on the spot.
So I raise from my chair, I take her hand in mine and lead her to the dance floor.
As soon as Kony spots us, rather me, she smirks.
"I thought you didn't dance." She teases.
"I don't, but if she asked for it, I'd give her the whole damn world." I reply. I look at Kayla then. Her beautiful green eyes shining under the tavern's low lights.
I bring her to me, put my left hand in her right one and the other hand on her waist. She steadies herself on me, placing her right hand on my left shoulder and then I lead the dance.
"Of course you're great at dancing too." She whispers to me as we move together.
"Only when I dance with you." I whisper back in her ear. She gasps softly. We're slow dancing to a quiet song and I never want to leave this moment. Her in my arms, together, never apart.
"Look." She tells me as she points with her head on something behind me. I turn us around so I can see what she's talking about. Rather certain someones. Kony and Ryan are also slow dancing and they look very affection-y. I bring my eyes to Kayla only to spot her amusement. "I think you'll have a sister-in-law soon enough." She whispers to me and I grin.
"Let's hope so." I say and mean it. Even if Kayla and I don't get our happy ending, which is something I never want to consider happening, I pray with my whole heart that those two do. They look quite a-taken by one another.
I spin Kayla and then bring her back to me.
"Wow you're really good at this." She mumbles.
"Hm? I'm surprised, because I have no idea how I'm concentrating with you in my arms dressed like that." I tell her and I spot her blush right away.
"Well maybe I wore it on purpose." She whispers and my grip on her tightens, bringing her even closer.
"Careful cheesecakes. You don't want to test my patience." I growl in her ear and then spin her again, before bringing her back to me.
We dance a couple more minutes in silence. No need for us to fill it. Just enjoying each-other's presence.
"I like this." Kayla says suddenly. "Slow dancing with you. If I could I'd never stop." The fact that she admits this, yet can't do anything about it, kills me. She presses her head on my chest and keeps dancing. I think she just wants to forget for a while. To forget yesterday, tomorrow and what she has to do. I think she just wants to simply be now. Just to live in the moment. And quite frankly, I need it to.
"I like it too cheesecakes. I like it too." I mumble in her hair, before pressing a kiss at the top of her head, never wanting to let her go.