Heartbeat of the Sunrise

51

"Hi, gorgeous!" sigaw ng kararating pa lang na babae sa condo ko.

"What are you–"

She attacked me with a powerful kiss. Her tongue flicked inside my mouth and I eventually gave up trying to resist.

Nilabanan ko ang bawat pusok ng kanyang halik. I caressed her thighs while devouring her lips aggressively , but a mere thought stopped me from doing further.

"Leave..." I said coldly.

"Aren't you satisfied with that–"

"I said, leave!"

She jumped in the reflex of my yell. The image of my Ximena slowly fueled the guilt in my mind. 

Ano ba'ng nangyayari sa akin? This is not me. This isn't right! 

"Is it again, because of that bitch?" The blonde woman laughed sarcatically, ignoring the madness I'm trying to show to her. "Come on. I'm way better than her." He caressed my ridged abdominal muscles.

"Fucking leave!" I yelled so loud she prompted to put on her dress.

She quickly walked away as if I'm a monster trying to kill her.

Alam kong dala lang ito ng kalasingan. I really missed her so much that I want to find another lip that could ease the pain and equal the feeling of her kiss. 

Mas nasaktan lang ako sa ginawa ko.

It's been a year since I left her for my family's sake, and I hated myself for hurting Ximena Gomez and letting her go. I tried to find another woman to fill the hole she bore into my heart, but no one did. Kasi kahit ano'ng gawin ko, siya pa rin. Siya lang talaga. Siya lang at wala nang iba.

 
Masama bang hanapin sa iba upang hindi na ako mahirapang makalimot? Kailangan ba talagang pakawalan ang bagay na gustong-gusto mo para sa kapayapaan at pagtanggap ng pamilyang binigyan ka ng bagong pangalan?

"Good evening ser!" The maids greeted me when I went back home.

Nilingon ko ang mahabang mesa sa gitna. Along with the lit golden chandelier hanging on the ceiling, The dinner candles were ready to be lighted. Nakataob na rin ang mga pinggan at drinking glass, at nakasalansan na rin ang mga table napkins at kumpletong set ng kubyertos.

Pero may naabutan ba akong naghihintay? Wala.

Another maid approached me. "Ser, kain na po kayo!" she muttered gently.

"Nasaan si mom at lola?"

"Ay, tumawag po sila kanina, baka raw late na silang umuwi dahil may emergency meeting sa opisina."

"Fine. I'm not eating, then."

"Pero ser–"

"I'm full!" bulyaw ko.

Walang nagawa ang katulong at bumalik na lang sa kitchen. Kahit umaalingasaw ang amoy ng ulam, wala akong naramdamang pananabik.

Sanay na naman ako, e. I'm used to the empty living rooms and dining table everytime I go home. I'm used to the maids greeting me instead of my own mom. Anyway, I understand why.

Para rin naman sa amin ang ginagawa nila. To the memory of their beloved little prince, or should I say... almost... been a prince.

I decided to just stay in my room when the painting of Maria Aurora Montecarlos on the wall stopped me from walking.

My eyes darted at the topmost portrait in front of me.

Nenita Fuentes, my great grandmother and the husband of Demetrio Damiago, had an affair with a Spanish man, I must know why... according to lola, her mom's tan skin and brown eyes sparkle everytime it hits the sun. Many men still tried to court her even if she's already committed to Demetrio.