Heartbeat of the Sunrise

48

Sunflowers.

Of all the flowers I have known, It was the weirdest one for me. I never got any attention and hype for it, unlike what the crowd follows.

But when he gave me a sunflower plushie toy, everything changed in a snap. Lahat ng walang kwentang bagay sa paningin ko, biglang nagiging espesyal kapag nanggaling sa kamay niya.

Mapakla akong ngumiti at dali-daling ibinalik sa bag ang stuffed toy at ang librong 48 Laws of Power. Pumasok si Jonathan sa sasakyan... dala ang isang sunflower bouquet.

"For my sweetheart." He handed me the bouquet while grinning evilishly.

My brows slightly shot up. Tadhana talaga, kakaisip ko pa lang nito kanina. Am I supposed to feel happy?

"Thanks," I replied. I thought he hates sunflowers too?

He drove all the way to his condo unit. Gusto kong magpaalam na umuwi muna sa bahay pero hindi na lang ako nagreklamo. I thought he'll stay with me but...

"I'll be back. May emergency meeting na gaganapin sa opisina kasama ni lola."

For the first time in my life, nakaramdam ako ng pagkabunot ng tinik na aalis siya. I felt the need to assess my own thoughts without anyone so I didn't react to it negatively.

"Napapadalas yata ang meeting niyo?" I asked, trying to be interested.

"The company is facing some challenges. Maaayos din naman, trust me."

"Okay, go ahead."

But when he's about to leave, he faced me again.

"Ximena," he called.

"Hmm?"

"Maybe we should try to bring back the old us. Maybe we need to remember why we started."

"Kaya nga ako nandito, 'di ba?"

"Nope..." he gave a sad smile.

"I'm trying my best. You need not to threaten somebody for me to do what you want."

"You're right." Tumango siya. "Damn, Ximena. I'd be willing to hurt someone just for you to stay with me. Remember that, baby."

Padabog niyang isinara ang pinto. Pag-ibig pa ba kung tawagin, kung may mga masasaktan dahil dito?

Alin ang totoong ibig sabihin ng pagmamahal? ang handang manakit para hindi ka lumayo, o ang lalayo upang hindi masaktan?

I stared at the sunflower bouquet lying on the bed. Am I supposed to be happy Jonathan gave this to me for the first time, or be lonely because it reminded me of someone I should forget?

Pinulot ko ang bulaklak at pinaglaruan ang mga petals ng sunflower. Sa kalagitnaan ng paghawi ng mga tangkay, isang puting card ang nahulog sa sahig.

Katulad ng bulaklak na ito na hinahanap ang sinag ng araw sa umaga.

Nawa'y hindi ka mag-alinlangang

Hanapin ang yakap ko sa tuwing hindi mo makita ang iyong liwanag.

What the hell is this! Paulit-ulit ako sa pagbasa ng tula at kilalang-kilala ko talaga ang sulat-kamay. This doesn't belong to Jonathan!

My heart pounded to its fullest when I realized something!

Dahil sa masamang kutob, napadrive ako papunta sa paborito kong flower shop. I brought the bouquet with me for the proof of purchase. Napaka imposible ng naiisip ko pero kailangan kong malaman ang totoo.

I opened the door and the chimes clicked. Dahil sa ingay na nagawa nito, napatalon sa gulat ang mga tao sa loob.

"M-Maam Ximena!" They all greeted me with horror in their eyes.