Heartbeat of the Sunrise

31

"Pinapunta mo lang ba ako dito para ipamukha na wala akong lugar sa anak mo?"

Muling gumuhit ang mapait na ngiti sa labi ko. I want to cast this woman on fire but she wouldn't let me burn her!

"Oh come on. I was just telling those things to you para maging aware ka sa mga actions mo. You're dating a Montecarlos and you should know some history about us. Unless may tinatago ka?"

"Wala akong tinatago!"

"Kailan umuwi sina Leo?"

"I said, they didn't escape!"

"You can't even look me in the eye."

My knees started to tremble. Sinugatan ko ng matalas na tingin ang mga mata ni Kristina. I stared at her even though my lies almost hurt my eyes from doing so.

"Talaga bang hindi ka aamin, Ximena? Your ego will kill you at the end!"

"Mom!" Jonathan ran towards us. "Ano'ng nangyayari dito?!"

"I was just eating, then she suddenly badmouthed me!" she pointed at me. "Is this the kind of woman you wanna spend the rest of your life with?"

"You were never the victim, Kristina!"

"See?" she laughed mockingly. "Ganito ba ang babaeng ihaharap mo sa akin? Bastos at walang modo?"

"Ximena." Jonathan gave me a warning stare. Alam ko namang alam niya kung sino sa aming dalawa ng mom niya ang palaging nagsisimula ng away. Pero bakit parang ako pa ang lumalabas na masama?

I tried to compose words but I failed. Hindi ako nakatiis at deretsahang naglakad palabas ng mansyon.

Narinig ko ang mga yabag ng sapatos ni Jonathan. I ignored him until we reached my parked car.

"Ximena!" he pulled my wrists. "Why are you doing this?!" iritadong sigaw niya kaya hinarap ko na siya.

"Your mom just warned me to stay out of you and insulted my parents in front of the dining table! What do you expect me to do? Stay silent?"

"That's not my point! You should've understood her since she's too stressed! She must be triggered-"

"Matagal na akong nagpapasensya, Jonathan!" I lost my cool. "Pero ano? May nangyari ba? Kailangan ba, ako na lang palagi ang magpapakumbaba? And you know what's worst? Ako pa ang naagrabyado, ako pa ang nagmumukhang masama sa mata mo!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Can you just stand for me just once, Jonathan?"

I hate that I almost pleaded saying those words to him! Ang sakit lang na kailangan ko pa talagang makiusap para maramdaman kong kaya niya akong ipaglaban!

He went silent for seconds. Nasapo niya ang noo at huminga nang malalim, sumusuko.

"Kakausapin ko si mom pagkatapos nito."

"Huwag na, Jonathan." I turned around to open my car but he grabbed my waist.

Pwersahan kong inalis ang kamay niya sa bewang ko. I looked at him again like I was giving up in a senseless battle.

"Itigil na natin to," bulong ko. Naestatwa siya habang nakatingin din sa akin.

"W-What? Please, pag-usapan natin 'to-"

"Oh. I forgot. There was nothing to end with. Mas mabuti siguro kung lumayo na muna ako sa'yo."

"Ximena!"

"Jonathan. I've been enduring everything for you. Pero tao rin ako... napapagod! Nasasaktan! I know everything's more difficult this time, so I'll make it easy for you. Just give me time to think."