Meant to be (Hailey Bieber story)

Chapter 59

3 weeks later
Hailey's POV:

It's three weeks since the accident and Alex still didn't wake up from his coma. The doctors say that his vitals are doing better so he could wake up any minute. I'm with him all the time and talk to him because the doctors also told me that it's good to talk to the patients if they are in a coma because it helps to wake them up or something like that. I'm aware that I have not really have a right to be on his side constantly because I'm not his girlfriend but I care for him. And I still love him. Nessa and his parents gave me the blessing to stay with him because they have jobs and I'm free for the next months. That was also another reason why I'm with him and not someone from his family.

They took Alex to a normal room after the first week in the ICU. And I arranged a family suite for him so that he has no one around him and that his family and friends can come and go whenever they want and stay if they want to. It's a room with two beds, on one of them, is Alex laying, and on the other, I am laying. Kendall and the girls visit almost every day but it's no use so far he won't wake up. But we are still trying. I tell him about our stories and read him a few things that he wrote me once. The girls are talking about the memories with him and are talking about their life and what's going on right now. I know that he will wake up soon because he squeezed my hand in the morning and the doctor told me that this can be a sign of his awakening. But it could be also something else.

After a day with a lot of visitors, we are alone. I changed my clothes and I'm sitting next to him. I see for the first time in my life Alex with a beard and not a fresh haircut. He gets his hair and beard done every second day, that's why you never see a bad hair day or a little designer stubble. He looks hotter with a beard I don't know why he is not getting one.
I have my hand in his hand. I want to tell him my real feelings but I'm afraid. It's stupid because he is sleeping and that's why he can't give any reaction but still I am afraid. Nevertheless, I will tell it him.
"Alex I don't know if you hear me or not but I will still say it. I'm a little afraid of your reaction I know that it is stupid because you can't really give a reaction to the things I will say but still I am anxious about it. I want you to know that my feelings for you never changed. It's still the same since day one. I'm still madly in love with you. It was my biggest mistake to cheat on you. Especially with Justin, which was also a big mistake to date again. I know that I put you through a lot and I'm probably the reason why you are in this bed and not with me. Because if we haven't broken up that time we would be right now on our honeymoon. But like always I ruined it I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me someday. The reason why I'm telling you all of this stuff is that I need closure for us. We never got one that's why we both were wasted or still are. I don't know when you will be awake or if you wake up at all but I need this closure to close our chapter and move on when it's needed. I will always love you never forget that. Maybe it sounds like a goodbye but believe me it's not. I just wanted to say these things in case the worst happens." I stop to talk and look into his face and I can feel how a tear is rolling down my face. "Alex I miss you so much. Please wake up and be in my life again. I'm begging you! I can't breathe properly without you. I'm not feeling happy and safe. My life is not colorful without you, it's just black and white. And you know how I hate living like this. Please wake up! We all miss you! I miss the man who can put anytime a smile on my face, no matter how mad or Moody I am. I miss the man who can make me blush just with a smile. I miss the only man in this world who gives me butterflies every time I see him. Please baby wake up! I don't want to spend another day without you by my side. I want you back in my life as my boyfriend or fiancé. I want to wake up every day next to you and see your face in the morning and kiss you and hold your hand. And I want to lay on your chest. I want to do all of these things again. So please wake up!" I say to him with tears streaming down my face.

After my talk, I get into his bed too and lay on his chest. It doesn't feel like the old times but I still feel that I'm connected to him in a way. I don't notice that I fell asleep on his chest. The next morning I woke up to someone kissing my temple. For a split second, I believe it was real but I know that Alex is still in a coma, so I must be dreaming or imagining things. I open my eyes and look up at Alex and see his eyes open. Am I seeing right or am I just hallucinating? "Good morning baby." Alex says with a smile on his face. I stand up and pinch myself to see if this is a dream or not and I don't wake up after I pinch myself. "Is this a dream or are you really awake?" I ask Alex. "I'm awake babe. This is not a dream! Your words woke me up in the middle of the night but I didn't want to wake you up. So I waited until you woke up." he says. "I have to call the doctor so he can check up on you!" I say and run out of the room to the front desk and tell the nurse that Alex woke up.

A few minutes later the doctor came and we walked together into the room. They checked Alex up and everything seems to be fine. The doctor walks over to me. "He is fine the fracture in his brain is healed and he has no consequences from it. His femur is still broken and in a cast like his shoulder. But I think that we can remove the cast on his arms in a few days." the doctor says. "Thanks, doc!" I say and he leaves the room. I walk over to Alex and he is looking out of the window. "A penny for your thoughts." he looks over to me. "I was thinking about the moment where the car flipped. People always say that you see your own life like a movie but I didn't see anything about my life. The only thing I saw was your face. I saw all of our moments good and bad. At that moment I realized that I can't without you Baby." he says to me and my eyes get watery. I walk over to his bed and he lifts his blanket so that I can get inside and cuddle with him. I put my head on his chest and he kisses my head. "I missed you so much!" he says. I turn around to him and kiss him and then lay back again on his chest. I feel whole again with him. Without noticing it we both fell asleep.