Classroom of the Elite: An Inferior Genius(DISCONTINUED)

Volume 4: Sigh Like You Lost

Yasushi POV

After the business with Horikita-senpai yesterday, Sakayanagi and I just went home instead of continuing our stroll to Keyaki Mall.

Today, I was just sitting in the library alone, reading another book. I needed a break from chess. Nagumo-senpai once again tried to get information out of me, but I kept on declining him. I'm certain that I made an enemy out of him.

"Sigh...Sakayanagi was right. It really is boring just sitting somewhere without any ambition."

I closed the book then put it back onto the shelf I got it from. With my cane, I walked out of the library with no clear intention on what I wanted to do.

As of right now, I feel like I know what I'm feeling. I'm lost, lost in my own thoughts once again. Without a clear goal in mind I tend to just drift away from reality and think about mortality. What meaning does life have, if you take away humanity's goal of evolution?

I feel like I know what it means. It means to be able to enjoy yourself without the burden of the future. It means that you, your peers and the younger generation can live freely. But, what is freedom anyway? What is equality? A lot of people say that anything is now possible through research, does the same thing go for something as fictional as magic? No, of course not.

Ambition is what keeps humanity going, it's our fuel to keep fighting the good fight. Whether the ambition is driven by money, survival, or any other reason, humanity has prevailed. However, what would happen if that ambition disappears?

Enter me. After I graduate from this school or get expelled, I have no place to go. I only came here to escape from the past, to forgive and forget. Class A? Who cares, because I certainly don't. Unlike Sakayanagi, who is a natural genius, Ichinose, who is kind and hard working, Ryuuen, who is tyrannical and aims for the fun, or Ayanokouji, who wants to live in peace, I have no ambition.

What drives me forward, is to simply fulfill a promise that was meant to be broken.

"Live for me."

Those words enter my mind every time I think about death and mortality. My father wanted for me to live, but what's the point if it's not what you wanted to do. I was never bullied, never tortured, never forced to do something I didn't want to do, and yet, I wasn't satisfied with the way things are.

If the pursuit of life is an ambition, then what is the pursuit of death?

Poke poke

I was forced out of my trance, then I looked around me. I was sitting on a bench in the ark near the dormitories, it was already dusk.

"And here I thought you were dead."

"Oh...hey."

Sakayanagi sat beside me on the bench as we gaze upon the sky.

"Your face seems more depressed than usual Maida-kun. Care to tell me why?"

"Ambition, that's why."

"I see."

I couldn't see her face because I wasn't looking in her direction, but I somehow knew she wasn't grinning like usual.

"Would you like to talk about it with a friend?"

"I have no friends."

"So Kushida-san, Ayanokouji-kun and I don't count? I'm hurt."

"When did you ever consider me your friend Sakayanagi? You've been treating me like a plaything ever since our second meeting."

"That much is true, but even childhood friends can drift apart then get back together again. Wouldn't you agree to that?"

"I don't really agree to much whenever human emotion is factored. Solitude isn't really my thing either."