The Player Next Door

#38- Those Three Words

#38
Madelyn's POV

"I'll wait for you here" Cara tells me.

I nod my head and race into the hospital. 

I just have to know that he's okay. 

I wish I didn't care as much as I do. 

I'm greeted and then escorted to Cole's room, the squeak of my shoes echoing in the empty hallway. I slowly take a couple steps into his room without thinking. He lifts his head at the sound. 

The first sight of him knocks the wind out of me. One half of his face is covered in a purple hue, His lower left leg is encapsulated in a cage and his right arm in a cast that goes to his elbow.

"Madelyn?" He questions in a whisper. 

"Hi" I respond, no moving from where I am standing. 

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm your emergency contact and I just wanted to see for myself that you are alive", now that I have seen that he is alive I turn to leave.

"Madelyn. Please. I love you." he says weakly, almost as if saying those three words fixes everything.

My heart aches at the words. I quickly wipe the tears from my face before turning around to face him. 

"I know" I tell him, trying to keep my voice from wavering but failing. "But you say one thing and then do the opposite. You really hurt me Cole" my voice cracks as his name leaves my lips, "more than I thought possible. But I guess it's my fault. Everyone warned me, but I chose to ignore them because I thought I knew who you were. I trusted you so much, more than I have ever trusted anyone.". I look away, feeling so much hatred, yet so much love solely at the sight of him. I look back to him. "You're not at all the person I thought you were. I truly hate you, so much. But don't worry, I hate myself more. I hate myself because I fell in love with you". I let out a humorless laugh, once again wiping my tears. 

Cole makes no attempt the wipe the tears running down his face. 

"Goodbye Cole" I tell him before turning and leaving as quickly as possible. My breathing becomes even more ragged than before.

Only when I step outside do I start to be able to breath properly. But I still rush to the nearest bush and empty my stomach into it. When I'm finished I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and rejoin Cara in the car.

***

It's been a couple weeks since Cole's accident and every time I see him it hurts a teeny tiny bit less, but I don't think it will ever not hurt to see him after everything. 

I exit the elevator and begin to walk to my apartment door. As I round the corner I notice Cole standing at his door trying to unlock it. 

He uses his crutches to stand on one leg, his other still in a cage with rods going into his leg. He holds a couple bags of groceries with his good arm while trying to do his best to use his apartment key with the other hand.

I see him glance up at me but he doesn't make an effort to say anything. I put the key in my door and push it open, but before I walk in I hear Cole's key hit the ground and him curse under his breath. I let out a sigh, having an internal battle with myself. 

I leave my door pushed open and walk to Cole's, my heart pounding. I pick the key up from the floor and quickly unlock his door, slightly stumbling due to the shaking of my hands. I push it open before taking the key out and handing it to Cole. 

"Thanks" he mutters.

I don't reply.

I keep my head down, not wanting to look at him and I walk back to my apartment.