18: Fears

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Once the day concluded at the amusement park and Jimin and Mi-Sun ate their food, it was time to finally end their day. Jimin was driving Mi-Sun back to her apartment. They drove by a park that Mi-Sun recognize. She quickly jumped in her seat!

"This is the park I was telling you about over FaceTime!" Mi-Sun said, pointing at the cherry blossom that were present, throughout the entire park.

"Wanna go?" Jimin asked, stopping his car abruptly.

"Can we? Just for a little?" Mi-Sun said, pouting at Jimin.

He laughed before turning his car around to park in the designated area. "Only because you're cute!" He said parking his car, and quickly exiting to opened the door for Mi-Sun as usual.

They walked around the park talking about a lot of things. Mainly about the lyrics Mi-Sun was writing.

They talked about destiny and the universe. One thing they both loved to evaluate on.

"So the concept of destiny. Do you think our meeting was destined?" Jimin asked, making Mi-Sun pause to think deeply about his question.

She looked at him as he stared out into the distance, contemplating the answer to it too.

She felt this urge to grab his hand.

"Of course!" She said, interlocking her hand with his, "everyone's meeting is destined!"

He looked down at their hands, and smiled widely. He squeezed Mi-Suns hand, as they walked down the park.

"You know, I haven't told anyone this before, but I'm afraid .."  Jimin said.

"Afraid of what?"

"I'm afraid that I'll eventually disappoint the people I care about.."

Mi-Sun looked at Jimin closely. He was serious. He was looking at the floor with sadness.

"What makes you think like that?" Mi-Sun asked, trying to get him to elaborate on his feelings.

"From experience.." Jimin said, looking up at Mi-Sun directly in the eyes. "I disappointed someone I care about once, and I know I'll disappoint someone again."

Mi-Sun shook her head disagreeing. "I don't think that should let you dictate your choices!"

Jimin said nothing. They continued to walk in silence, hand in hand.

"What about you?" Jimin asked, as they both sit down on the bench that was in the park.

"What about me?" Mi-Sun asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"What are you afraid of?"

Mi-Sun laughed, "roller coasters!"

Jimin chuckled, looking up at Mi-Suns face. "You know what I mean!" Jimin said in a pout.

Mi-Sun smiled, looking into the distance thinking of what to say. Her smile disappeared when she remembered.

"You wanna know my biggest fear?" Mi-Sun asked.

Jimin nodded his head.

"Getting hurt by someone I've told and explained my pain to. Getting hurt by someone who knows my past and knows how broken and vulnerable I am, yet they do the same exact thing they said they would never do. That's my fear.."

Jimin closed his eyes tightly and looked at the floor, feeling a sense of understanding.

"I'm afraid that the people I love will one day abondon me. I wasn't diagnosed with anxiety for no reason. It's hard to have friendships, when in the back of head, I keep thinking that they'll leave me one day.." Mi-Sun said, frowning just thinking about it.

Jimin lets out a sad sigh. "I didn't know.."

Mi-Sun shook her head, "of course you didn't. I never told anyone."

Jimin squeezed Mi-Suns hand, while he stared at the side of her face.

"But you know what really sucks?" Mi-Sun asked.

"Hmm?" Jimin hummed.

"The fact that I associate that type of behavior with love. Because no one has ever loved me purely."

Jimin looked down at Mi-Suns face. He saw that she was upset about the concept they were talking about. He caressed her cheek, before combing through her hair.

"I think love is something that's a bit blind!" Jimin said, stroking through her hair gently. "We don't see that it's right in front of us, until it's too late!" Jimin said, looking deeply into Mi-Suns eyes, before glancing down at her lips.

Mi-Sun couldn't help but stare into Jimin's glistering eyes. It made her heart flutter and her breath shake. She stared down at his lips, plump and smooth; red and pink. Her chest, raising up and down as Jimin's face got closer to hers.

He inched closer to her face, leaning his head to the side to place a peck on her lips. Mi-Sun turned her head away. Her cheeks incredibly red. She closed her eyes trying to calm herself down.

"If I could say, your lips are a beautiful shade of pink." Jimin said, grabbing Mi-Sun's chin, and turning her head towards him, "If I didn't want to kiss you right now, I would be lying to you."

Mi-Sun stared at Jimin as he said those words. Swallowing her spit nervously as her hands began to shake. She didn't know how to respond to that. She was out of breath as he began to inch closer to her face again.

"Ohh no.." Mi-Sun said, looking down at her shaking hands.

Jimin stopped, looking at Mi-Sun with confusion, "What's wrong?" he said, as he looked down at Mi-Sun's hand.

"My .. My anxiety.."

Jimin looked up at Mi-Sun with a worried stare, his mouth slightly open with concern. He swallowed his spit and distanced himself from Mi-Sun.

"Sorry .." he said with a soft voice, "If I knew I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have done that.. I don't want to make you nervous. I don't want you to be nervous around me."

Jimin combed through his hair, reveling his ears. They were red. He was embarrassed about what just happened.

"I'm sorry.." Mi-Sun said quietly, crossing her arms in as way to give herself a soothing hug.

" Mi-Sun said quietly, crossing her arms in as way to give herself a soothing hug

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