abnormal tragedy

Chapter 50: recovery

It was Spring again, the month of March. It had been December when Rowan first found the hobbits, when the Fellowship was formed, and when she first met Legolas. As Rowan looked upon the streets of Minas Tirith from her window, to her it seemed like it had been only yesterday. So much had happened. So much had been lost. And nothing was over yet. 

Rowan had gone working without stop. For one, she would not have been able to stand not being useful, and secondly, it kept her mind busy. From helping the healers, to getting the market going and food distributed, to washing and cooking and basically wherever she was useful. Rowan even patrolled with the Rangers of Ithilien. She did everything she could get her hands on. Éowyn was recovering. After three days, she was already able to walk on her own. Éomer would be by her side whenever his duties allowed him, and Aragorn was no better. ''Please tell these men they can go on with their day now and leave me to rest. They are so stubborn,'' Éowyn told Rowan once. But they were still reluctant to leave her side. It was hard to see her cry when she first remembered everything that had happened, when she first thought of her uncle. Rowan made her promise to her that she would not punish herself for something that she could not have done anything about. She wasn't sure she would keep that promise.

Rowan had been excused from the healers after two weeks. The wound on her back, she was told, would leave a permanent scar and her brother made a joke about it saying that it was good as it would scare away any boys from wanting to date her. Gimli snorted and Rowan too found it hilarious. Of all Rowan's loved ones that were wounded, Merry looked the healthiest. He was up and about, chatting and laughing with Pippin. He kept on asking about Éowyn and Rowan told him to bother her less as she needed to rest. He'd just frown and be back about it. It was wonderful to see him so lively.

It was Pippin who kept asking about Faramir, constantly on his toes about it. Rowan had not been aware that the hobbit had seen it all, was so scarred by it all. It was so silly - being angry at a dead man. If only he had been alive. She hated the fact that a parent could favour one child over another so greatly that they wished the other one had died instead. So she found it really hard not to lash out on a wall, as sparks flew about Rowan from the contact of her blade and the stone. Rowan let out something akin to a scream. Luckily, she gave no damage to her sword.

''There is no use in despairing over the past,'' Rowan heard Gandalf say, before she felt his hand on my shoulder, ''Nor in damaging your blade for nothing.''

''I know.''

''Leave the pain behind,'' he advised. And Rowan was. Three days had gone by like that, and it made not thinking of Legolas easier. She missed the Elf but she couldn't bare to face him.

''I have never seen the lad look so grim,'' Gimli said to Rowan at lunch one day as they ate together, ''And by my beard, something's telling me it has a little something to do with you.'' Rowan turned so she could see Legolas speaking with her brother outside the hall, looking out somewhere. ''Leave it, Gimli,'' Rowan said, but not unkindly. ''Come on. You can tell me, lass.'' He pleaded. ''No.'' Rowan shouted causing all eyes to be on them. ''What is it?'' Gimli continued to goad. ''Gimli!'' Rowan seethed. ''Did you have a fight again?''

''No, we did not have a fight!'' Rowan tried to keep my voice down. ''It is alright, when two people-'' He started. ''Gimli! Blood and bloody ashes!'' She shouted. ''Alright,'' he shrugged, ''I'm only saying.'' ''Well, don't say anything,'' Rowan argued, ''Everything is more complicated than you think.''

''Lass, if that Elf over there's managed to complicate your life even more than it already was tied up in knots, then you're in for a ride.'' Rowan gave up, and she gave in. With a sigh of frustration, she buried her face into her hands.

...

''My Lady, Lord Aragorn wishes to see you in the throne room,'' one of the men told Rowan one evening as she took a stroll down the streets of the city. He had been running. It was urgent. ''What is it?'' Rowan asked, panic only slightly breaking into her. ''You will see.'' They almost ran back into the Hall. Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Éomer were already there, standing before Gandalf. And when he saw her enter, Gandalf spoke: ''Frodo has passed beyond my sight... The darkness is deepening.''

''What does that mean?'' Rowan asked, catching her breath. ''No. If Sauron had the Ring we would know it,'' stated Aragorn. ''It's only a matter of time,'' said Gandalf. ''He has suffered a defeat, yes, but behind the walls of Mordor our enemy is regrouping.'' ''Let him stay there. Let him rot!'' exclaimed Gimli. He was sitting on the throne smoking his pipe. ''Why should we care?''

''Because ten thousand Orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom,'' Gandalf, explained, and a sudden realisation hit Rowan. ''I've sent him to his death...'' Her heart sank at Gandalf's confession. Was it foolish to hope? Was there any hope at all? ''No. There's still hope for Frodo. He needs time, and safe passage across the Plains of Gorgoroth,'' argued Aragorn. ''But how can we help him?'' I asked, ''Can we give him that?''

''Yes, we can.''

''How?'' asked Gimli. ''Draw out Sauron's armies. Empty his lands,'' explained Aragorn eagerly. ''Then we gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate,'' Rowan concluded, nodding to herself. ''Exactly.''

''We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms,'' reasoned Éomer. And he was right. There weren't enough people. ''Not for ourselves, but we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us,'' Aragorn insisted, ''Keep him blind to all else that moves.'' ''A diversion,'' Legolas said, seeing it all clearly. ''Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?'' asked Gimli. For all the danger ahead, Rowan actually laughed. ''Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait,'' Gandalf argued. ''Oh, I think he will,'' Rowan smiled.

But when our meeting was over, Rowan went out into the city again. She needed the fresh air of the night; she needed one more moment of solitude to recollect herself. It took longer than a moment. Rowan somehow found herself in a grove down on the other side of the city. She needed the green. She wasn't used to stone enough.