abnormal tragedy

Chapter 41: love?

The rest of the day went pretty quickly, due to the meeting that was used to discuss preparing for if the beacons were lit, and how Rowan was helping Éowyn around the city. Mostly with cooking food and preparing the men with equipment and armour that fitted just in case of an outbreak of another war or battle.

Éowyn had escorted Rowan back to her room as Éowyn gushed over a mysterious guy, who Rowan knew was her brother but she didn't say anything. She liked to see her friend smiling as their wasn't much to smile about lately especially going forward. She was unaware of how long she had spent pacing around her room worrying about both Pippin and the possibility of war when she heard a knock on her door that frightened her.

''Blood and ashes, Legolas!'' Rowan whispered, though it was as harsh as a shout. Her heart was beating against her chest and it took her a few moments to steady her breathing. She felt like she needed to sit down for a moment after the shock. ''I am sorry I startled you.''

''I've told you I can't sense when you're coming. Burn me!'' It wasn't very lady-like to cuss, but Rowan was no lady, and she could not care less at the moment. Then Legolas smiled and she realised how much she loved his smile.

''I really only wish to be with you,'' Rowan blurted out before she could even think of stopping herself. ''And I wish to be with you, but it cannot be.'' Legolas replied. And that was it. It was as though they had said everything to each other without actually saying anything. That sentence right there - it was the ultimate truth that Rowan knew she had to accept. But she simply couldn't yet, not by herself. He kissed her forehead then with all his affection, and when Rowan looked up to meet his gaze, she had all but lost all control of everything that was happening around her. She did not even know how it happened. As if hypnotised, they leaned into each other, and when their lips met, it was the most beautiful thing, the most perfect thing that had ever happened to her. It felt so utterly right, more right than anything.

A part of Rowan wanted to feel bad about it, but she didn't. His lips were as soft as she'd imagined them, and his kisses as tender as can be. When they pulled away, Rowan was sure his face was mirroring her own - confusion and concern and guilt and just a bit of satisfaction. ''I- Forgive me, I don't know- I don't know how I let that happen-'' Legolas stuttered. ''No, don't apologise,'' Rowan said. But none of them had moved out of the embrace. His face was still too close to hers. Too close to be safe. ''I- Something takes over me when I'm with you. I am sorry. I don't understand it-'' He stuttered again not removing his gaze from her eyes. ''No, if anything, we're both guilty,'' Rowan said breathily, wanting nothing more than to kiss those lips again. His eyes kept going from her lips her own. She could not help but dangerously think that he wanted the same. And he had rid me of her suspicion as though he could read her mind. ''Why do I want to do it again?'' he asked quietly, his hand on her cheek, ''Why have I wanted to do it for some time now whenever we were together?''

Rowan's breath hitched. ''Don't- Legolas, that's- It's dangerous to even talk about- I-''

''Ulmo drown me, but I want to.'' Rowan was shocked, she had never heard him curse before. ''Then do it,'' Rowan heard herself say, and for a moment it almost sounded foreign, as though it was not really her own voice. She found herself not caring anymore. ''I shouldn't,'' he said. ''You should,'' Rowan said, and when she moved toward him just a little bit, it was all the encouragement he needed. He was kissing her again, softly, tenderly, and it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Nothing else existed. Nothing but his lips against hers, and his hands in Rowan's hair and against her skin and his warm breath and his body against her own and kisses, kisses, kisses. Every next kiss grew more hungry, more passionate, more dangerous. It took all the strength of Rowan's spirit to keep those kisses reined and tamed. Just kisses. That was as far as they could allow themselves to go. They had lost track of time. The night was dead silent, and the only sounds being their kisses and breaths made Rowan want him all the more. She wanted to keep his fingers on her neck forever. She wanted the night to last forever. Though she knew what she was doing was wrong.

..............

For a moment Rowan almost believed she'd dreamed it all when she awoke and Legolas wasn't there. The bed was still warm where he lay - if nothing else, that was proof enough. However, she felt something she thought was very akin to heartbreak once she realised he was gone, and also a bit of fear. Did he regret it all? Was he ashamed of it? Did he sneak out before she could wake so he wouldn't have to face her?

She was so confused as she quickly got dressed and made her way to the throne room where she was met with friendly smiles from her brother and friends. Rowan locked eyes with Legolas as she made her way over. Okay he isn't mad, she thought to herself as he smiled at her.

It was the most comfortable silence Rowan had ever experienced. For a while they didn't speak but only smiled at each other every once in a while, and the only sounds that could be heard were of their chewing and the others in the room engaging in business conversations. ''Midday... I don't remember the last time I've slept this much,'' Rowan mused, ''When did you awake?'' Legolas grinned, ''In the morning''

''Ha ha,'' Rowan laughed, ''Why didn't you wake me? I would probably sleep my life away if nothing awoke me.'' ''You looked so peaceful,'' he replied, ''What awoke you?''

''Oh, um- I noticed you weren't there, so-'' He smiled like an angel. ''I would never leave you.'' Gimli grumbled from beside Legolas, "Love... elves.." He muttered causing Rowan to laugh causing juice to spit out of her nose. She looked embarrassed as she noticed all the people in the room now staring at her, especially Éomer. ''Ehm, I know,'' Rowan said, taking a few grapes. Suddenly, thoughts of last night came to mind. She blushed. "Why's m'lady blushing?" Gimli cooed and Rowan put her hands over her face to cover her ever growing red cheeks. She then turned to look at Legolas who smirked.