𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓷𝓪𝓹

｀☁｀𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓷𝓪𝓹 𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓼𝓽: 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓮𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓮、｀☽｀

FIRST OF ALL THANK U FOR 36 READS? IT MIGHT SOUND STUPID TO THANK PPL FOR READING BUT IT MADE ME RLLY HAPPY SO THANK U :) ANYWAYS I JUST NEED TO SAY THAT THIS IS A HUUUUGE TRIGGER WARNING. If your only here for the smut than pls ignore this part of the story. Theres a lot of mensions abt body image ,selfharm and stuff so PLEASE if your easily triggered then pls dont read this part. You have been warned//

as usual the days went by rather quickly and by each days end dream would notice small different things around the appartment where a bit different. For example more of the glasses around the house disappeared, some of dreams sleep pills where gone and his stress rope he had to stay still. Normally he didnt pay attention to any of the changes until he some days heard sap crying at night. At first he confronted him but it was too dark too see at first and once he turned on the lights, sap's face was already dry. So of course he didnt think much of it. And soon he ended hearing him crying which was a relief. Sap also stopped wanting to go outside just as much and didnt stream on his usual dates. Of course George and dream noticed these things but everytime they asked him about it he'd just reply with "im fine!" or "Honestly i just wasnt up to it. I'll do it soon!" with one of the fakest smiles Dream had ever seen. The final straw was when he started seeing bloody papers in the bin and some of his bandages disappeared.

On a particullar day though. Sapnap said something on phone while he was away that completely worried the two. Firstly he asked to be put on speaker which was a bit odd since he usually prefered for his calls to be private. he then procceeded to ask if george was with dream which he was at the moment. "i just want you both to know. That when i die you need to write something with pandas on my grave okay?" at first the two found it a bit funny but when they noticed what he had asked of them shortly before it shook them both.

"wait what do you mean by tha-" the ravenette quickly hung up before george could finish his sentence and the two got very worried. Sapnap had been out of the city for a while and came back at night. He went to the bathroom and locked himself in there and falling asleep. He was awoken by someone knocking but they quickly switched to the second bathroom which let him rest easy again.

In the morning he heard dreams voice and it echoed in his head making him cry. He tried drying his face but just kept crying. He got in the bathtub filling it with water to calm him down since baths always made him feel at ease. He didnt care about undressing before getting in the tub though which made it feel more like a hug due to his clothes getting quite heavy. He looked around the bathroom and got some glass from the sink and smashed it on the floor.

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he took one of the glass pieces, the one that looked the sharpest and thinnest of course. Slowly the clear water that surrounded him got a bit tinted with blood. He eventually lifted his arm up out of the water letting it dry on the side of the tub and soon fell asleep. He heard slight banging on the door but thought it was only an imagination.

the door soon got kicked open and in the doorway stood clay and george and as soon as they saw him they flinched. "Pandas..?". The voice of the person he held closest echoed in his head as he slowly opened his eyes, a bit more tired than usual. "hm..?" he hummed and glanced at the two who had now gotten some bandages and dream bandaged his arm. He chuckled a little and leaned his head back against the wall still in the blood tinted water. George got him a towel and was about to help him out "dont.." the ravenette mumbled a small smile on his lips. George got even more worried by this and felt the water which was now cold. "Sap-..The waters freezing. You need to get out of there." the two glanced at each other before looking at him. And before he could respond dream pulled him out by putting his arms under his arms and onto a towel that george had put down on the floor. He sighed but still smiled a bit as he looked up at the very faint light from the roof.

"i liked it.." he mumbled, his voice was very weak from both the cold water but also because of blood loss. George stared down at him "why..Why did you do that to yourself sapnap?!" he almost yelled at him which made dream hold him back a little "George..Let him heal first please.." before george could reply sapnap chuckled a bit "i dont get why you care so much.." he smiled as the two looked down at the boy who was now sitting against the wall. "I mean come on..No one cared before so i dont see..Why you would now.." he smiled rubbing his hand against his bandaged arm. Dream flinched "what..?" he stared at him and flinched once the youngers eyes looked up at him. He looked so so tired. Not tired like he needed to sleep but just. Emotionally exhausted.

"Well.. I mean come on, theres a lot...A lot of handsome people in the world.. You know those tall guys with their pretty brown hair and beautiful face..Well all i can say is i dont fit in with them..Or you." he smiled a little as tears formed in his eyes. "you both shouldnt have met me in the first place. Im a burden." he mumbled out which seemed to make dream furious, but since he didnt want to hurt him even more he grabbed his fine arm pulling it to himself so that the other would look at him.

"dont.you. ever say something like that ever again pandas, You are the funniest sweetest person ever and i swear you are the best thing that ever happened to me." The ravenette looked at him with those same eyes as before but this time not in a harmful way, this time his eyes looked so different yet so same. they where still the same beautiful hazel color they had always been but he just looked so hurt and sad.. eventually he burst into tears which wasnt very common for him since he wasnt very good at showing emotions the two where very quick to wrap their warm arms around him which made him calm down a bit.

"i just need a hug..."he whispered gripping onto clays shirt his eyes still pouring with tears but now onto the others shoulder. "i never fit in..I constantly do this shit act over everything and im loud and annoying and-" "shut up." Dream and george said in union as they held him which made him chuckle a bit "ranting again?.." he smiled a little onto the blondes shoulder and the others sighed"its okay to rant but not about things that arent true. You might not fit in but your perfect in so many other ways. You loud yeah but your so so funny and your not annoying in any way."george smiled holding onto him and dream nodded smiling "Whatever your going through you'll get through it even if it takes days weeks months or even years. Everything happens for a reason. It might be gods plan or its just pure logic." George looked around and saw the others bags in the bathroom "did you sleep here..?" he asked and recieved a small nod for a responce. George hit him in the head " You dick i had to go to the fucking bathroom last night!" Sapnap and dream looked at each other before bursting into laughter which george soon joined into.

"god i love you guys.."

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HELLO i hope (if u read this) that ur okay! Honestly i wrote this because i feel like a lot of people feel like shit right now and i think it might be worth reading unless you have issues with depression triggers and such. please remember that no matter what ur going through it'll be over soon. JUST LIKE THIS CHAPTER. LOVE U :)

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