F*ck life and everything that follows after | BakuDeku | Depressed Deku

41

I put in Kacchan's number and hoped that it was the right one.

+81 705 XXXX XXX: Hello Kacchan! It's me.. Izuku. I am currently staying at another place until I am ready to come back. I won't come back to school tomorrow and I also won't come back on the weekend. I am so sorry for troubling you so much. Please don't tell anyone what happened, I will fix everything myself, I promise, but you will have to give me a chance to do so. You have no idea how much I regret doing what I did.. We will see each other soon.
I love you.

I waited for a few minutes, hoping that I would get and answer and just as I was about to give the phone back to uncle, it buzzed in my hand and the screen lit up.

+81 905 XXXX XXX: Deku? Is that really you? ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU SAFE?? Please tell me that you are okay though..
Shitty hair knows since he was with me when I read the letter... I will make sure that he won't tell anyone about it. Please come back soon. I want to hold you in my arms, I want to hold you and make sure taht you're okay. Please don't take too long.
I love you so so much.

+81 705 XXXX XXX: Yes I am okay Kacchan, don't worry. See you soon.

With that I blocked Kacchan's number and gave the phone back to uncle. I didn't want my boyfriend to spam his phone or suddenly call him out of the blue and to be honest I also just wanted to be at peace for a few days. I couldn't make myself talk to the person who I loved the most and almost left. My condition was too bad to handle with him at that moment.

"Are you done buddy?" Fukuhara asked me.

I nodded and again he ruffled my hair.

"I think I will call your school now, I will tell them that you came to visit and got sick. If I am lucky, there still should be someone in the school, it's not too late yet," he lifted his wrist and looked at the time.

"Meanwhile you can go into the spare room. It's down that hall," he pointed towards his right. "The third door on the right, I will bring you some clothes in a minute after I'm done with your school," I smiled and thanked him before I made my way to the room.

I was walking through a hall which was decorated with plants and pictures on the walls. Out of curiosity I glanced at every picture and my eyes got stuck on one specific photo right next to the room where I was supposed to get in.

It showed me together with uncle when I was little. He was holding me up into the air with a huge smile on his face, I myself also looked as if I was really happy. I was giggling in that photo.

*Sigh* Just what has happened to me that caused me to turn out the way I am now? Why can't I just go back and be a little innocent child again? Why can't I just be happy again?

I turned my head away from the picture and walked into the room. It was nothing too special, it actually even reminded me of my dorm room.

I sat down on the bed and let my head hang down while taking a deep breath.

Just what on earth has happened, huh? Will I ever be okay? I want to know if I will ever be okay.. It's just one simple question, so why is no one answering it? Oh god, I just want to be able to live.

I put my head into my hands and thought about the day.

I almost killed myself and Kacchan made me rethink it. I ran away. Just because I am scared. But what am I scared of? Do I actually have a reason to be scared? I have so many questions.. All unanswered. Please, I just want to be okay again.

A small muffled voice was to be heard, speaking out of another room. Even though my door was open, I couldn't understand a word, but I knew that it was Fukuhara probably talking to someone in my school. I didn't bother getting up and trying to listen to what he was saying, but I just continued sitting there on my bed, quiet and tired from the day.

I laid down, my eyes looking up at the ceiling.

My body and mind were exhausted. I needed rest more than anything and like on cue I fell asleep in only a few seconds without even changing my clothes or taking off Kacchan's scarf.

____________________________________

Bakugou's POV, back to where Deku ran off:

Deku ran away.. I thought to myself while holding my boyfriend's phone in my hands.

I was still on the rooftop together with Shitty Hair, shocked from what had happened.

"Is it my fault that he ran away?" I whispered and Shitty hair turned around.

"Bakubro, did you say something?" His expression showed that he was also kind of in shock but he was able to handle it better than me.

I looked up at the redhead in front of me and opened my mouth, small whispers making their way out together with a few tears.

"Is it my fault that he is gone now?" I asked him, my voice shaking.

Shitty hair's eyes widened and his face got sad. He got down on his knees, dropping down into the snow and wrapped his arms around my body.

"No, it's not, okay? It is not your fault Brakugou, Midoriya just needs some time to recover a bit. He almost did this for a reason and whatever reason it was, it isn't something small or otherwise he wouldn't have tried. Give him a chance to calm down and he will come back when the time is right," I could feel Kiri's body trembling along with mine, even his voice was shaky too.

"I am sorry Bakugou."

I put my arms around his body and squeezed my friend tightly while burying my face into his shoulder.

"There is no reason for you to be sorry," I silently said into his clothes which were ice cold because of the low temperature outside.

I was crying into his shoulder until I couldn't produce any more tears. I was happy that Deku didn't jump, but he still ran away without even saying a single word to me and it tore me apart. The fact that he could've died was also too much for me. I could have lost my boyfriend just because I was not enough for him.