F*ck life and everything that follows after | BakuDeku | Depressed Deku

27

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Time skip, 2 weeks later, Saturday, still Deku's POV:

Two whole weeks have passed and they barely differed from each other.

Every single day I had this sudden thought of dying and I started hyperventilating because of it. That happened almost every day during school time and in the past week it has also been happening when I was in my dorm room.
The only person who was able to calm me down was Kacchan.

After the past two weeks, I got sick of it and I decided to go to Recovery Girl and ask her what was wrong with me.
Normally I probably would've gone there with Kacchan but this time I decided to visit her alone, since I didn't want Kacchan to worry about me if there was something wrong.

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I walked up to the office from Recovery Girl and stood in front of it for a while, not being sure if I could manage to go in. I was extremely nervous and started shaking my hand in order to calm down.

The feeling I had in that exact moment was comparable to the incidents that happened in class and in the dorm but I was able to hold it down somehow with breathing in a few times very deeply.

*breathe in*
*breathe out*
I got this.

Finally I got myself to lift my head properly and I knocked against the door slightly.

"Come in darling," the voice of the old lady sounded a bit muffled through the door.

Hesitatingly I opened the door, feeling like that was the worst decision in my life and was finally standing inside of the room, closing the door behind me again.

"Hello Midoriya, what made you come here?" She asked me with a warm tone in her voice.

I couldn't make myself speak properly and just started stuttering like an idiot.

"I- I- Uh- I n-n-need h-help," I felt my body starting to tremble and wished for Kacchan to be by my side again. I needed him right now.

The old lady looked up at me with a concerned look on her face.

"Darling.. What's wrong? Are you not feeling too well?" She grabbed one of my hands and tried to pull me to the hospital bed.

"Midoriya, your hand is ice cold and you're shaking! What happened?"

I couldn't make myself explain to her what was wrong, I just couldn't think straight.

My heartbeat was going crazy, my body was shaking violently and I was on the edge of tears, starting to panic about the thought that I was dying.

Recovery Girl looked helpless but I couldn't blame her. How do you help someone if you don't know what is wrong, right?

"Midoriya, please you have to say something in order for me to help you."

And again I couldn't make myself tell her what was going on in my head, I just wished Kacchan to be here by my side to help me through this.

That's why I started to fish out my phone out of my pocket, my eyes were flooded in tears and I couldn't breathe properly, I looked so pathetic. I couldn't even hold my phone steady and pressed around on it until I somehow managed to dial Kacchan's number.

It was ringing one time and he picked up, I put him on speaker, my phone resting on my lap.

"Deku, where are you? Are you okay?"

His voice was so comforting to me and I felt a little bit better but all I could do was cry and let out sobs. I wanted him to get here to help me but I couldn't say a word.

Then luckily Recovery Girl understood that I wanted him to be with me.

"Bakugou is that you?" She asked.

"Yes, who is there and why is Deku crying? What happened?"

You could heard Kacchan getting up from where he was sitting and a door slamming only seconds after. He was rushing through the dorm, people trying to ask him where he was going but he just left and got outside.

"It's Recovery Girl, I have no idea why Midoriya is crying, he just got here and he seems to have a panic attack. He just dialed your number. We're in the nurse's office, come here."

"On my way," he didn't end the call and you could hear him breathing heavily from running so fast.

Meanwhile Recovery Girl started an attempt to calm me down, she was talking to me but I couldn't pay attention to any word she said.
I felt like the world around me was shutting down. Everything that I could hear, everything that I could focus on was Kacchan's breathing through the phone.

"P-Please K-K-Kacchan," I could bring out and started crying even more, I was scared, scared of myself dying even though it was something I sort of wished for. It was weird to me that my body or rather my mind is so scared of dying even though I want it.

I could heard Kacchan running faster until I was able to hear his steps in the hallway coming closer and closer to the door in front of me until he slammed it open.

He was panting like crazy and immediately run up towards me and wrapped his hands around my body.
He felt so warm and his embrace so safe, my heartbeat was decreasing slowly until I was fully calm again, even though I still let out a few sniffs every now and then.

"What happened Deku?" He asked me after a while, he sounded scared, sad and concerned.

I collected myself and spoke up.
"I-I was nervous a-and then I started t-to p-panic when I-I got here," I stuttered.

Kacchan rubbed my back when Recovery Girl also finally started to speak again.

"Bakugou, can you please step away from Midoriya? You can sit beside him but I need to look him into his eyes and ask a few questions."

I grabbed Kacchan's shirt really tight.

"Come on nerd, it's okay, I'll sit behind you and give you a hug, alright?" I nodded into his chest and Kacchan moved behind me on the bed.

He leaned on my back and put his hands around my waist so that I could look at Recovery Girl and still feel his presence.

"Okay Midoriya, listen here. I'll be asking you now a bunch of questions and you have to answer them in order for me to find out what you have, okay? Is it okay for you when Bakugou stays with you?"

"Y-yeah," I answered.