F*ck life and everything that follows after | BakuDeku | Depressed Deku

38

____________________________________

Bakugou's POV:

Deku just left to meet his mom and I was comfortably sitting in the common room, watching some random movie with the others.

It didn't even take me a minute until I decided to leave.

Shitty movie, those extras literally have no sense for good movies.

I grunted and got upstairs to go into my room to grab my phone.

Originally I wanted to ask Deku if he could bring some rice with him from the grocery store when he got back but soon that plan was crossed.

When I opened my door, I saw a folded piece of paper with "for Kacchan" written on it, lying on the ground in front of me. I picked it up and noticed that it was Deku's handwriting.

I folded open the letter and stared reading what was written on it.

A poem, I thought and started paying attention to every little word.

(A/N: Okay so this time I'm hella proud of what I created, please clap for me ✨.)

"I'm at the edge of this building that you can call my life.
I look down on the ground and it looks like ice.
The snow falls down and lands in my neck.
My thoughts are racing, should I go back?

I feel so cold, where is the warmth?
I wish you were here to hold my arms.

I take a step further, now closer to the ground,
I take one more and you're still not around.

I feel the wind rushing past my ears,
making me cry more and more tears.

No scream, no pain, just silence, that's all.
Nature takes me back when I jump and fall.

We will see each other when you die but until then, this is a goodbye.

-Your beloved Deku"

My eyes widened, my hands started shaking, my heart was beating as if there was no tomorrow.

I understood what that poem was about, I knew it was his 'goodbye letter'.

"N-no, no. This can't be. NO," I screamed on top of my lungs while a few tears dropped down on the paper, smearing the blue ink around.

Out of a sudden Shitty Hair came upstairs, running towards my way while yelling for me.

"Bakubro! What happened? Why are you crying?!" He was just about to open his arms and embrace my body but I just collapsed down onto the floor.

I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe that Deku wrote this. I knew that he wasn't dead yet, he left only a little while ago but I just couldn't make myself get up and chase after him.

My body didn't want to stand up on it's own, it felt like gravity wanted me to stay at the place where I was sitting.

I couldn't help but start sobbing like crazy.

Shitty Hair squat down in front of me and looked me into my eyes.

"Bakugou, can I see that letter you have there?" He asked while pointing at my hand.

I kept quiet and continued sobbing. He knew that that was my own way of showing him that I didn't mind him taking the letter. Otherwise I would have screamed at him or hidden the paper.

Carefully he grabbed the piece of paper and started reading trough it. It didn't take him long until he was done and judging by the expression on his face, he knew damn well what it was about.

Shitty Hair got up and tossed the paper onto my bed. Then he grabbed one of my arms and pulled me up.

"Stand up, right now. We have to find him, every single second matters. SO MOVE YOUR ASS UP," I have never seen the red haired boy yell at someone like this before.

He is serious.

Even though it was hard, I somehow managed to get up and a sudden wave of adrenaline started kicking in. I was full of energy and was only focused on finding Deku.

How do I even dare just sitting around instead of moving my ass to find him?

Quickly I ran over to my desk and grabbed my phone which was still charging.

76%, more than enough.

Both me and Shitty Hair quickly rushed out of our dorm, not caring about the confused looks on the faces from our classmates.

"We have to get to the rooftop of the school!" I informed Shitty Hair while running along the sidewalk under the naked trees covered in snow.

It was cold outside, snow covering the ground. I was able to see the footsteps Deku left on his way to UA and tears were shooting into my eyes.

How am I supposed to live without this shitty nerd?

While we were running to the building and finally reached the entrance, I took my phone and tried calling Deku. It was ringing a long time, but I didn't want to give up.

After 6 times of just ringing he picked up the call, but didn't say a word. Me and Shitty Hair were running to the stairs and up, hoping to get to the rooftop in time.

"Izuku. Listen. Stay where you are, I don't fucking care how much you want to do this, but please don't do it. Don't do it," I was actually barely able to say those words, my throat felt to tight and I could barely breathe.
"Please, I don't want you to do this, I want you to live. I want you to live until we get old, I want you to smell the smell of our first house, I want you to see the ring I will give you when I marry you, I want you to be with me late at night and laugh about the dumbest shit, I want you to see our future kids, I want you to see them grow older with every day. I just want you to have a happy future. Please.. don't throw all of that away. Don't throw your live away like this. Just please don't," there was still one floor to run up.

(A/N: I just read through my book again and bruh there are so many grammar and spelling mistakes. I won't correct them tho because the comments will go away then. Sorry for interrupting o.o)

"Katsuki... I love you so so much," and with that the call ended. Silence.

The silence broke me, I ran up the last few steps with the little amount of energy I had left and threw open the metal door. Shitty Hair followed me outside and let the door close behind him. I knew that in that case we wouldn't be able to get back downstairs on our own but that was something I could worry about later.

When I noticed that Deku wasn't there, I fell onto my knees.

"He didn't jump, right?" I whispered into the silence of the day. "Don't tell me that he is gone now.." I didn't want to check if he was actually lying there. I didn't want to see that kind of picture because it would haunt me until the end of my days. I was so god damn scared.

Shitty Hair rushed past me to the edge of the building, following Deku's footprints in the snow and looked down onto the ground.

"Bakugou. He isn't there," he turned back to me with a relieved and shocked expression on his face.

"What? What do you mean?" I got up and walked to the edge of our school building as well. My legs barely made me walk straighty, but when I got there and looked down, I noticed that Deku really wasn't lying on the ground.

He didn't jump.. where the fuck is he?

I looked around, searching for any sign of my beloved boyfriend, but he was no where to be found.

My first instinct was to get my phone and call him, but after the first ringing I could hear his ringtone only a few meters away from me.

When I looked towards my right, I saw a phone in the snow with a green case around it.

Quickly I ran up to it and picked it up.

"This is Deku's phone.." my voice broke.
Did he run away?