F*ck life and everything that follows after | BakuDeku | Depressed Deku

37

The school day went on as always, I didn't pay any attention to anything the teachers were saying, they also didn't care. No one cared about how I was.

(A/N: Okay so I noticed how much I've actually used similar phrases like this in the past few chapters and I'm sorry.)

Kacchan was always holding my hand when he could and I just let him, I tried my best to look as happy as I could, I didn't want him to think that I was not doing okay. I wanted him to remember me as a happy and cheerful person, I didn't want him to think of me and be sad, I wanted him to be happy that I was happy. Or at least pretended to be.

For this day I told Kacchan that I was gonna visit my mom for a few hours. I told him that I didn't see her for a long time and wanted to spend some time with her.

Obviously that was just a lie.

My mother wasn't at home in ages, she was travelling around the world since months. She was the manager of a singer that was pretty popular in Japan. They (gender neutral lmao) were on tour and that was why my mom had to go with them. She often was on buisnesstrips like those.

She didn't know about what was happening with me, she barely even texted or called me and to be honest, I also stopped caring about that. If she didn't want to talk to her son, that was fine. She didn't even know that I was together with Kacchan.

If I was her I also wouldn't want to talk to someone who was as pathetic as me.

The bell rang, signalizing us that the school day was over. I packed my stuff and stood in front of Kacchan's desk, waiting for him to get ready to leave.

He put his pens and papers into his bag without caring if they crumple up and stood up.

"Ready to leave?" He asked me with a smile on his face. I nodded and grabbed his hand with a smile on my face as well.

"Yes."

We walked out of the classroom and went downstairs. You could see through the windows that it was snowing outside. When we fully got out of the building, snowflakes fell down onto my hair and on my face.

The ground was white, it looked beautiful.

I let go of Kacchan's warm hand and squat down in the snow, adoring the white crystals.

With my hands I scooped some snow together and formed it into a ball. My hands were hurting from the cold but at the same time it was really enjoyable.

I got up again with the snowball in my right hand and Kacchan looked at me confused.

"You're not gonna throw that thing at me, right?"

I smirked and yeeted the ball straight into his face.

"No," I said. " I would never do such a thing to my boyfriend."

Kacchan grunted and quickly made himself his own snowball to throw at me. He hit my face and I just stood there in shock.

"You little asshole," I laughed.

We continued having a little snowball-fight before going back to our dorm, completely wet and cold from the snow.

When we arrived, I got into my room and changed my clothes. It was a white hoodie together with black cargo pants.

I got over to Kacchan's room and knocked twice when I was done.

*Knock knock*

"Come in," he loudly said.

I opened the door and watched him changing his shirt before he finally turned around to face me.

"I'm gonna go and visit my mom now, I will see you later, alright?" I said. My heart was hurting with those words. I knew that I would never see him again, I knew that those were the last few moments we had together.

"Of course nerd, I'll make dinner later. Katsudon to be specific."

"That sounds nice, I will be glad to eat it with you," I smiled at him and he smiled back at me.

My boyfriend got to his closet and pulled out a red scarf and got back to me.

"Before you go though, take this, it will keep you warm," he wrapped the scarf carefully and with a lot of love around my neck.

When he was done, he gave me a kiss and hugged me tightly.

"I love you so so much Deku, please never forget that."

"I love you too. Till death and beyond."

We broke apart and got out of the room. Kacchan left and got downstairs into the common room.

While he did that, I went back into my room once again. I got my phone and the poem I prepared in class the other day.

Before leaving for the last time ever, I glanced around.

Everything was clean, the room wasn't messy anymore, my desk was also tidy.

*Sigh* This is it, huh?

When I left, I closed the door with a small *click* and walked over to Kacchan's dorm room to slip my poem under his door.

I continued with walking downstairs into the common room.

Almost everyone was there except Mineta.
(A/N: Sorry I just don't like him.)

"I'll be back later guys, see you!" I smiled and everyone told me to have fun.

Kacchan also lovingly looked at me and waved his hand as a goodbye.

"See you Deku, I love you!"

"I love you too."

I slipped into my red sneakers, they were matching the scarf Kacchan gave me and I went outside.

Immediately I got hit by a big blow of wind which contained small snowflakes.

It was quiet outside, everything that was to be heard were my footsteps, making the snow crunch beneath my feet.

Slowly I walked towards the school while truly realizing that this would be my end.

I'm really gonna be able to leave this fucked up word. I'll finally be able to leave this goddamn place. Only a few more minutes and my job here will be done. No worries anymore, no bad thoughts, nothing. I'll finally be free. I don't care what comes after this.

Fuck life and everything that follows after.

I already reached the school building and walked in. I tried my best to be as quiet as possible so that no one would notice where I was going.

As lucky as I was, no one seemed to notice me and I was able to get up the staircase that lead to the rooftop.

After a while I reached the heavy, metal door and took a deep breath.

This will be the last time I'll be up here.

I opened the door and glanced at the ground.

There was the brick formed price of wood. Instead of placing it between the frame and the door like I would normally do, I kicked it away.

This time I don't have to get back, I will never go through that door ever again, this truly is the last time.

I slowly walked towards the edge of the building, leaving a trace of footsteps behind me.

The rooftop was covered in a perfect blanket out of snow with only my footprints in it.

I walked further and further until I reached the edge. I looked down and closed my eyes.

It was quiet. Completely quiet. I felt like the world stopped moving, like life was on pause. Everything was quiet and I felt freezing cold. It was as if my heart was daring to stop beating every second because it would turn into ice. Most people would try to warm themselves up now, but it was different for me, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed every little second that I had, even though my limbs were already feeling like they would fall off.

I opened my eyes again and looked into the distance.

Kacchan.. I love you, till death and beyond.