Letters To You (A Troyler AU)

Chapter 12

Tyler's POV:

        "I AM A FUCKING IDIOT!" I yelled as I flung myself down onto Hannah's couch. Hannah invited Colleen, Grace, Mamrie, and me over to just hang out, but they could tell the entire drive to her house that I wasn't in a good mood.

        "Will you finally tell us what's going on?" Grace asked, exasperated from me already. I turned around on my stomach so I could face them. They were all sitting on the ground now, arms crossed, glaring at me. I sat up and crossed my legs, hugging a pillow to my chest as I rested my chin on it.

        "I don't want to..." I mumbled childishly. Colleen groaned and Hannah rolled her eyes.

        "Tyler, we have helped you through everything since freshman year. You know you can tell us anything." Mamrie reminded, sounding irritated. I mean, I guess they all had a pretty good reason to be mad at me, it's not like I wasn't being rude to them. I slumped down a little further in my seat as I refused to make eye contact with them, trying my best to come up with something to say.

        "I..." I began. "I told him I'm straight..." I muttered into the pillow and, as if on some cue, they all furrowde their eyebrows at the exact same time. 

        "Told who?" Colleen wondered.

        "Why?'' Grace asked.

        "How?" Hannah added. I sighed out at all their questions being thrown at me. This is exactly why I didn't want to talk to the girls, at least not now. It's only the day after I told him I'm straight, I wasn't even sure what I thought about anything.

        "Troye..." I mumbled more, and even I could barely hear myself. They all seemed to understand though by their gasps in reply.

        "YOU TOLD TROYE YOU'RE NOT GAY?!" Hannah yelled, jaw dropped. "HOW FUCKING COULD YOU?" Grace put her hand on Hannah's shoulder to calm her down. I rolled my eyes and scoffed.

        "It wasn't that hard when he just assumed it!" I spat back and instantly Hannah shut up. They all glanced up to me, lips parted and sad eyes. They were waiting for more. "I...he..." I stuttered. "We were talking about our turn on's, basically, and I guess I started describing something close to him--the usual things, you know, accents and stuff--" They all nodded in understanding, "And he started joking about how it portrayed him well. Then he started teasing me about being interested in him and at the end he just...kind of...made sure I'm straight and I said yeah." Mamrie's head cocked to the side.

        "How'd he ask you if you're straight?" She wondered and I blushed.

        "I don't know, something about me not liking dicks or something." I shrugged it off. "And now I just feel horrible because...I...I just told a guy I'm not gay! I can't just call him back and be like 'oh yeah wait I am'!" I exclaimed. Colleen lifted her hands as if weighing the options.

        "Well...you could just tell him that you got nervous and backed out of telling him. You know, be honest." She suggested. I pouted.

        "Yeah but..." I glanced toward the ground as I started playing with a loose thread on the pillow. "Then he might think I like him..."

        "He's not going to think that Tyler." Grace consoled, standing up and then sitting beside me. She put her hand on my back and rubbed it in comforting circles.

        "How do you know that?" I questioned, still refusing to look at her. "I basically did describe everything about him the other day, I call him babe, I try talking to him as much as I can...what if he thinks that it means something?"