Letters To You (A Troyler AU)

Chapter 30

A-N: I hate this new Wattpad formatting sorry ugh

Troye's POV: ~~January 1st, the morning after the kiss~~

His lips were soft, like when you're picking roses up from the store and you might touch a petal. That's exactly it, his lips were like pink rose petals. A blushed color, soft, delicate, amazing. I could still feel his hands in my hair, his lips pressed to mine, our bodies so close. It was a night I never wanted to forget, but at the same time, it was a night I wish I could forget forever.

I didn't have feelings for Tyler, I didn't, so why on Earth did I kiss him back? It could have ended there, after that one kiss, but NO I had to go back and kiss him again, feel him so close to me one last time. But I didn't have feelings...I was falling hard for Connor.

Connor. I groaned once his name entered my mind. After all the shit I put Connor through and made him feel...fuck. I wouldn't blame him if he never trusted me again, I'd probably clap if he left me. Could for him, he deserves someone incredible. Believe me, I know what I did was wrong. I'm not sitting at Tyler's counting thinking about how wonderful Tyler is, I'm sitting here thinking about how I'm ever going to tell Connor.

Yes, I am definitely telling him. I had decided that the second Tyler and my lips broke apart. I didn't want to live in this lie with Connor, he deserved the truth. What I did was bad enough, I'd only make it worse by lying and playing it all off. And not only am I heading home tomorrow, I'm heading home to the end of a relationship I had been pursuing for a year, my homophobic mom and brother who know nothing about any of this, and to my wretched school that somehow hears all the drama.

My life will be way more hellish than it already is. Not to mention I might just lose my best friend. "Might". I scoffed at myself. It was already 2p.m. and Tyler still hadn't left his room. Is this how our last day together was going to be? Us sitting in different rooms, ignoring each other as though somehow our silence would rid us of our awful actions we had committed? I groaned louder and raked my hands through my hair, just to put my face in my hands right after. So, this was it I guess. This was the end of good times, at least for a while.

Suddenly, I heard a shuffling sound to my right and I slowly turned to face it. My eyes met with Tyler's, just for a split second, before he quickly cut his gaze away.

"Morning..." He whispered, his voice so small I probably wouldn't have noticed he even said a word if I hadn't been watching him.

"Afternoon." I stated and he nodded his head, looking to the ground while playing with the hem of his shirt. Okay I'm going to be honest, he looked terrible. I mean, he still had that everyday beauty to him, but otherwise his hair looked tugged at, his eyes rimmed red just like his nose, and he was very slumped over. He didn't say anything after that, instead he just walked over to the dining table and sat down without a word. "My uh...my flight leaves tomorrow at seven in the morning." He said nothing. "By the way..." I muttered and he nodded again, staring down at the table. "I packed earlier. So tonight we wouldn't be busy." I mentioned and he shrugged.

"Cool." He mumbled and when I caught a glimpse of his eyes, I realized they had tears in them. Normally I'd rush to help, with a hug or something, but I held myself back. I couldn't help him by being closer to him. He wiped at his eyes, not even trying to be subtle about the fact he was on the verge of completely breaking down. I guess he didn't really care anymore. I took a deep breath.

"My resolution changed." I whispered and he scrunched up his eyebrows, looking down into my lap. When I looked closely, I noticed a tear fall. He must have been terrified out of his mind, so I hurried to clear things up. "In 2016 I just want to make sure you stay happy and that no douche hurts you. And Tyler, even if I fail the resolution...I'm not going to be that douche that hurts you." My voice was weak now, barely heard. "But I am going to make sure you stay as happy as you can."