Letters To You (A Troyler AU)

Chapter 36

A-N: If you are not good with HARSH homophobia DO NOT read this chapter. Also, if you are sensitive to bad thoughts, also wait for next chapter. Everything that happens in this chapter will be explained next chapter but not as detailed. I just don't want any of you to be uncomfortable

Troye's POV:

There are moments in life when you must stay calm, when you must just listen and let everything filter through your body, through your skin, your ears, your eyes. There are times when you have to hear words as just extra air leaving a human's mouth. There are occasions when all you can do is stand, stare, and nod, even if you really don't understand. No matter what the situation. It could be when someone is pressuring you for an answer.

"Come on Troye, tell me, do you like dick?"

It could be when you're just stuck and secretly want to run away from all the attention you're getting.

"Steele please"—

"Tyde shut the fuck up! I'm talking to Troye about his fucking disease. Not you."

Or maybe you're not really calm, you're just silent. Silent because that's what you're taught to be, from a young age, you're taught to be silent because then you can't say anything wrong.

"Fucking speak to me you fag!"

And although I found myself stuck in my own mind, watching the world move around me, for some reason all I could clearly think about was an Oscar Wilde quote my dad read to me when he was helping me fix my bike as a kid. As a little boy, I didn't understand why he had decided to tell me it. But now, that was it. That was my thought.

 There are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.

"Speak!"

 You have that moment now.

"Troye I swear to fucking"—

 Choose.

"I'm gay." I said in an unwavering voice. I stepped forward once, narrowing my eyes into slits. "And there is nothing wrong with me. It is NOT a disease." I took another step forward. "It is NOT gross." Another, slightly nervous, step forward. I lowered my voice into a whisper, almost a growl or a hiss. "And it is NOT something you can ever just take away from me."

And then he slapped me.

I put my hand to my cheek, my mouth hanging open in shock. In all the years I've been alive, Steele hasn't laid one hand on me. I turned back towards him and realized how red his face had gone, how angry his eyes looked. I glanced to Sage and noticed her covering her mouth to silent her sobs, tears pouring from her eyes. I looked over to Tyde and found him staring at Steele, expressionless.

"You are disgusting, Troye." Steele spat in a low tone. "You are a mistake." He pushed my chest hard, causing me to stumble back. "You are wrong." He pushed me again, so my back hit the wall, forcing me to shut my eyes in pain. "You are degrading to this family." He brought his hand down on my face again and I let out a pathetic cry in pain. "You are worthless." He pushed me back again, but since there was no room, I basically slammed the back of my head into the wall. "But most of all, you are not my little brother." My lips parted and I took a deep staggered breath, his words almost hitting me as hard as his hands when they came down on my sides. I let out a choked cry of pain and fell to my knees. I only had a second of recovery before his foot connected with one of my already bruised sides. I let out a scream and shut my eyes again.