Chess Pieces #5: Loki Von Amstel

Chapter 27

Warning: Spg
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I decided to take a shower before going to bed. So many things happened on this day and I couldn't stop the things that's going through my mind. My mind is being chaotic again. I couldn't even think properly and I need a very nice shower.

I took off my clothes, left it on the tiled floor of the bathroom before stepping under the shower. I closed the glass door and let the water run down my body.

With my eyes closed, I let my body feel the coldness of the water as it ran throughout my body. I stayed that for God knows how long before I opened my eyes. I watched the water flowed down from my long blonde hair, so long that it could cover my breast. I gasped for an air and closed my eyes again.

I remember what happened. I succeeded on my plan. Yucca and Enkidu perfected the plan even without me. I thought that there's going to be a problem if I left the two of them to continue brainwashing King Lancer and showed him the dark side of the EL Ordre. But  they've surpassed my expectations. What happened back there at the villa is such an entertainment for me.

A smile has slowly crept on my lips. We're now at the endgame. I'm sure that I have a big chance on winning this game. The Red Faction can win this game now that we have our King Lancer.

I was surprised when I let out a chuckle that's full of bitterness. If father is here, would he be proud of me? My plan succeeded. The EL Ordre wouldn't and couldn't kill King Lancer. I can finally end this fucking game.

Father, are you watching me? Will you finally admit that I can be a match against men too? That I can fight against them without using my body? With just only my brain and an effective plan?

Father, can you forgive me now and stop blaming me because Mom died because of me? Can you acknowledge my existence now?

Father... Will you finally accept me as your daughter and stop torturing me?

I opened my eyes when I felt the burning sensation inside my chest. I took several deep breaths when the sensation turned into pain that wanted to escape as tears in my eyes.

I remember the heated argument that I had with Ishtar. Fuck... That triggered my emotions so I'm having a hard time again on killing my feelings again. That bitch... She had the audacity to say all of that when she knew nothing about me. About what I had gone through.

She should be thankful that the former King of EL Ordre loves her mother, the former Queen of EL Ordre, so much. That even if she's the daughter of our father, the former King is willing to take and protect her because of the love that he has for her mother.

Ishtar got out of hell even before she experienced it. What a lucky bitch, huh?

But then, I don't think that she'll ever experience hell even if the former EL Ordre's King didn't take her away. 'Cause between the two of us, our father loves her more. I doubt if he had even regarded me as his daughter. It has always been Ishtar.

I laughed with emptiness. Why can't I be lucky just like her?

Fuck it. Now, I'm self-pitying. I don't need a feeling like this.

I finished taking a shower and dried myself with a towel. Hindi muna ako lumabas ng banyo at tinitigan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin sa may sink. I was naked. My hair looked so disheveled because I just wiped it with a towel.

I stared at my face. A lot of people complimented me because of my face and my body. But everytime that I looked at myself in the mirror like this, why do I only see a disgusting person that nobody would ever want?

My eyes... My eyes that looked so cold and merciless was one of the reason why people never looked down on me. But nobody could see the real person behind those merciless eyes. Even me.