Lost It All (Sequel To Lost In Stereo) {4} [COMPLETED]

Chapter 26: I Want To Change

Chapter 26: I Want To Change

CAMRYN'S POV

I came home from school and went straight to the stairs.

"Hey girls." My mom said, walking into the entry way.

"Hi mom." Danielle said, walking up the rest of the stairs. I followed in silence.

"Camryn?" I didn't answer. "Camryn Jenna Biersack, get your ass back down here!" I groaned and turned around, walking back down the stairs.

"I expect that you say something when I talk to you and not just ignore me. Your father is going to come talk to you about this morning when he gets home from work." I sighed.

"Okay, can I go now."

"Yes." She scowled, turning around and walking back into the kitchen. I walked up the stairs and sat on my bed, not wanting another scolding from my dad.

***

"Camryn." My dad knocked on the door.

"Come in, I guess." I groaned, turning so my back faced the door.

"Camryn, come on. We need to talk about this." My dad said, flicking the light on and sitting at the end of my bed.

"We don't need to talk about anything."

"Camryn, you can't keep us this behavior. It's very destructive and not healthy!"

"Well what the hell am I supposed to do?" I asked, sitting up and looking at him.

"Talk it out with someone for god sakes! I've offered you to have sessions with me!"

"I don't freaking need therapy." I said through gritted teeth.

"Well, obviously you do if you can't find a non-destructive way to solve your fucking problems!"

"Maybe instead of me going to therapy, you should go see a therapist to take control of your fucking alcoholism!" My dad chewed on his lips, balling and unballing his fists.

"I didn't come in here to fight Camryn." He said, trying to calm himself down. "I came in here to talk. Your mother and I are very worried about you! I know you say you don't care, but what if your behavior rubs off on your siblings? Like it or not Camryn, you're the oldest and you've got to start taking responsibility for your actions. You're going to be in high school next year Camryn, which means more privleges and more responsibility. You need to start thinking about people other than yourself. What you do effects others Camryn, you just don't know it."

"I-I'm sorry dad." I said, suddenly remembering Danielle. It was my fault she was cutting herself. He's right, I am selfish, and I need to change.

"W-What?" He asked, surprised to hear me say that.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I'm just...going through a lot of things. You're right, it would be nice to talk some of these things out. You're right, my behavior is destructive and unacceptable and is...is selfish. I know, I need to start acting better for the twins and Danielle, but I just forget and...it's hard." He sighed and took my hands, staring into my eyes.

"You're not alone in this Camryn. Your mother and I are here for you, your grandparents are here for you and so on. I'm pretty sure Chris is here for you, you're not alone." He said, pushing my hair out of my face and behind my ear. "We just love you a lot Camryn, which is why we're freaking out about this....this sudden behavior. You know my doors always open, always has been. And, the things you don't want to talk about with me, you can talk about with your mother."

"I want to change daddy." I said, beginning to cry. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him.

"Here, let's make a deal. You can come talk to me or your mom about anything. Whatever it is, just come tell us, and we promise you won't get in trouble. No matter what you did or what happened, you won't get in trouble. Deal?" I nodded.

"Deal."

"Good, I love you Camryn."

"I love you too daddy." He kissed the top of my head and held me until I pulled away. He stood up and walked out of the room. I got up and pulled my blade out, making a few cuts.

"I'm going to change." I said quietly, looking down at my bleeding arm.

*****************************************************************************************

30 COMMENTS FOR NEXT CHAPTER (ONE COMMENT PER PERSON)