Officially Blake's

CHAPTER 60

CHAPTER 60

BLAKE’S POV

“Nicolle,” mahina kong sabi. “Babalik ka pa naman, diba? Hindi mo naman ako habangbuhay na iiwan diba?”

Ngumiti ako habang tinitignan ang picture ni Nicolle sa phone ko. Natawa na lang ako bigla. I was acting like Nicolle died. She didn’t. But I was already dead to her.

Freaking hurts, man.

“I was calling your phone. You weren’t picking up.”

Napalingon ako sa nagsalita. Nakita ko na pumapasok si Vincent sa pintuan ng hospital room kung saan ako iniwan ni Andrew kani-kanina lang.

“Yeah. I’m sorry,” sabi ko. In-exit ko yung photo ni Nicolle at ibinulsa na yung phone ko.

“I was trying to call her, too, but she left her phone on the other room.”

Ngumiti ako kay Vincent at sinabing, “Found her but—“ 

“I know,” he interjected. “Andrew told me you did. She ran away... with Matthew Hawkings, I know."

Tumingin ako sa baba. Hindi ako makatingin kay Vincent. Lalo na siguro sa parents ni Nicolle. They trusted me. I promised them that I will take care of their daughter. And I ought to keep that promise. Pero anong nangyari ngayon? Wala na si Nicolle.

I can just imagine kung gaano nag-aalala sila ngayon.

Seemingly gathering courage, I looked up and told Vincent, “I’m sorry. It’s my fault, Vincent. It’s my fucking fault she ran away. She trusted me!”

Tumayo ako. Hindi ko na ma-kontrol ang sarili ko at nagsimula na akong magsisisipa ng mga gamit sa loob ng kwarto. Nagsisisigaw na din ako. “I shouldn’t have lied to her! She—she fucking trusted me Vincent! I got thousands of chance to tell everything to her but I shut up! I didn’t tell her what she has to know and now she’s gone! You know why?! Because I’m a fucking idiot!”

Tumigil ako saglit. Hinihingal ako. Napansin ko na lang na puno na ng dugo ang kamay ko pati yung isang parte ng dingding. Damn. Hindi ko na pala alam ang ginagawa ko. Hindi ko nga naramdaman yung sakit nung sinusuntok ko yung pader eh. Heck—hindi ko naman alam na sinusuntok ko na pala yung pader.

Tumingin ako kay Vincent na walang reaction. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin na poker face. Na parang wala siyang pakialam. Siguro sinasabi niya sa sarili niya na tama ang mga pinagsasasabi ko… na ako talaga ang may kasalanan kung bakit wala na si Nicolle ngayon.

“I don’t know what to say Blake,” sabi niya. “I mean, look at you. You’re goddamn broken.”

Hindi na ako sumagot. He’s right. I was goddamn broken. Ano pa ba ang ine-expect niya sa akin? My girl… she ran away with the guy who wanted me dead. How could I not be goddamn broken?!

And what the fuck am I still doing in here? Dapat hindi ako tumigil. Dapat hinahanap ko na si Nicolle ngayon… I shouldn’t stop until I find her.

“Blake,” biglang tawag sa akin ni Vincent. “Let’s just hope she forgets about this whole incident.”

Napasimangot ako at napatingin sa kanya. I scoffed. Kahit na duguan at medyo nararamdaman ko na yung sakit, I clenched my hands into fists at biglang sinapak si Vincent.

He was thrown off balance, syempre. He didn’t see that coming, of course.

Sinuntok ko siya ng isa pa sa mukha, habang patayo na siya mula sa sahig. Tinulak niya ako bigla at sinapak din.

“Are you kidding me?!” sigaw ko sa kanya.

Sinipa ko siya sa dibdib.

“You want her to forget?! What the fuck, Lee?! What the hell were you thinking?! You want your sister to forget all about this?! You want Nicolle to believe in all the shitty lies we feed her?! Goddamn, Lee! You’re out of your mind, aren’t you?!”