Officially Blake's

CHAPTER 61

CHAPTER 61

NICOLLE’S POV

When I opened my eyes to check the time, I saw that it was already past 12. To tell the truth, I was actually bracing myself on forgetting everything that happened earlier. Ironically, it seemed I lost my natural ability to forget. Half of me wanted to disregard the lot; the other half didn’t.

Anyway, even if I have this condition and Matthew Hawkings around, it’s not going to be easy to forget Blake. He was, after all, the guy I have fallen in love with. I could forget for an hour about him… weeks, months. Maybe years. But not for a lifetime… because I know, deep down in my brain, our memories were there. Everything about us was there. Clear. Untainted. Present. And even if anytime now, I wouldn’t be able to grasp them, they weren’t lost.

Just forgotten.

But now, our so-called ‘love’ was gone. Everything was just in the past now. I trusted Blake, loved him. but he lied to me. Everything was just in the past now… shattered into million pieces. I remembered how he used to say he love me million times more than anything. Maybe that wasn’t enough to tell me about what was going on… about the truth.

Love that’s million times more than anything? Also shattered into million pieces.

I just couldn’t believe Blake could do that to me. For all I thought he would catch a bullet for me. Turned out, he was too afraid to tell me the whole reality.

Too damn scared to lose me for a while but too damn stupid to lose me forever.

But Blake was just one thing.

My family was another.

The people I grew up with. They knew all about me through and through. They knew all my weaknesses, secrets, strengths, all my dreams. They supported me. The whole way they were behind me, cheering, telling me they would always be beside me. Damn, I thought my family was perfect. They weren’t. We weren’t. Far from it, actually.

And my friends, Andrew… I was thinking he also knew about this. Andrew was too good to me. He was too gentle. He was always there… my knight in shining armor. Even if I caused him pain, he continued being there for me… but he was part of this. He fibbed. He fibbed.

And I was too naïve about it.

About everything.

And Matthew… does he know?

Hours ago, he told me I would forget about all of this. I haven’t told him about my condition, yet. How? How did he know all of this? Was he a close friend of mine? I didn’t think so.

Just when I was about to get up to ask him, I heard the door creak.  Through the dim light of the lamp on the bedside table, I could see Matthew walking on, a glass on one hand. I shut my eyes closed.

I didn’t know why I suddenly felt the need to spy on him. I know, it’s really pointless.

But everything’s pointless now, so why bother doing things that actually made sense, right?

The echoes of his footsteps rang through my eardrums along with the slow beating of my heart. A few minutes later, I heard the opening of the wooden cabinet. The cabinet was in front of the bed so I had a good guess that his back was on me.

I took the chance to peek.

My breath got caught somewhere in my throat when I saw his muscular back. He was shirtless and I was bothered by it. I closed my eyes, trying to remove his naked torso from my mind. Oh, I feel like a pathetic perv.

Apparently losing control of my eyelids, my eyes were once again open. I was shocked when I saw him facing me, staring right through me like he was going to murder me… still topless.