Existing in Radiance

Chapter Twenty-Three | Grimmauld Place, August 1995

Chapter Twenty-Three

Grimmauld Place, August 1995

 

            The day of Harry’s trial was nerve wracking, and Hazel spent most of it pacing the library, doing over the dusting Andrew and Ginny had done a few days before. Every now and then she’d go over the shelves, picking out a title or two for reading, a couple others for burning.

Taking the stacks in her arms as the clock struck the hour Harry was set to return, she descended the stairs, and not looking where she was going bumped into another person in the front hall. Dropping to her knees to pick up the books, she didn’t even glance at the stranger and mumbled an apology.

“Hello, Hazel.”

Startled by a voice she hadn’t heard in almost two years, Hazel looked up to see her children’s features staring down at her from another face.

“Severus – I – what are you doing here?”

He avoided her question, holding her gaze “You’ve been very good at avoiding me, Hazel.”

Standing, Hazel tucked the stack of books under her arm “Don’t be silly Severus, we’re not children – I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“You haven’t come to any meetings, locked yourself in your room and hidden the twins away -”

“Don’t speak of them,” she snapped “You have no right.”

From the landing, Sonia stood still and listened to her mother’s conversation. Andrew poked his head out from his own room and saw her, frowned and joined her at the top of the stairs.

“You never gave me the choice to earn it,” Severus said “It’s not like we took it to court. I could have made a good father.”

The twins looked at each other, eyes wide – could the man their mother now argued with really be their father?

Hazel laughed, but it wasn’t amusing. “Maybe if you weren’t so in love with someone else you might’ve, but I’d rather not have found out. Not after I’ve seen how you have turned out, not like this.”

“Its not all my fault, Hazel. We both did things we regret.”

“I regret nothing but you being the father of my children.” She said icily “I love them more than life itself, but I wish with all my heart that they were not because of a trying year of you toying with me, and a whole childhood before that.”

Their voices had raised, and it was then that Sirius bounded up the stairs to see them node to nose, fists clenched “What’s going on here?” he cried, tugging Hazel back just after Severus’ hand rose to strike her.

“Nothing.” Hazel whispered, blinking back tears and holding a hand to her stinging cheek.

The twins just saw a pale hand reach to slap their mother, and for a few moments they watched, frozen.