I'm Sorry, But I've Made Up My Mind...

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Austin

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He hated hospitals. In fact, they made him sick. The lights, the bustle, the uniforms, the chemical smell, the death...he hated everything about hospitals. His hate must’ve spawned when his mother passed away. He found himself nodding in agreement with himself. He was forced to sit in the waiting room with false hopes only to be told that his mother was dead. 

He did not want a repeat of what happened with his mother to happen to his daughter. He couldn’t stand to lose another person in his life. 

Austin felt his stomach doing leaps and he coughed into his hand. Vic and Aaron stayed with Austin. Alan, Tino, and Phil decided to stay at the bus to inform the others about what happened. Also Alan couldn’t be around Sienna without crying. 

“Mr. Carlile?” Austin looked up at his name and he stood, his hands shaking. “You can see your daughter now.” 

“Is she okay?” Austin asked, his eyes watering slightly. 

“She’s stable.” the doctor replied, nodding to her room. 208. Austin nodded and carefully walked into his daughter’s hospital room. “Only one person is allowed at a time.” The doctor explained in a hushed whisper. 

Austin walked carefully into the room and only stared at his feet. He watched as his shoes touched the plastic bed. slowly, he let his eyes drift up to his little girl lying in the bed. She had tubes down her throat and an IV in her arm. Her eyes were shut and her hands were limply at her side. Austin couldn’t stand it anymore. 

He broke down in tears, falling into the plastic padded chair. He sobbed into his thin hands, his elbows resting on the bed. The sobs didn’t sound familiar to him even thought they were coming from his own mouth. He let his hands fall and he bend over, resting the whole half of his body on the bed. His hands clenched into the blankets and he cried louder. 

“I-I’m s-s-so sorry f-for not s-seeing i-it-” he sobbed into the blankets. “I-I should have-” He broke off again, shaking the cloth with his hands. “I lost Lucy, I lost my mom...I can’t lose you too-"

A cold hand closed on his. He jumped a mile and his hand immediately clenched back on the cold hand. 

Her eyes were still shut, but her mouth had a small frown on it around the tube. She squinted her eye open and made a grimace. With her other hand, she brought her fingers to her mouth and pulled the tape off of the side of her mouth, slowly bringing out the tube. Before Austin could say anything, she pulled the tube from her own throat. She began coughing and hacking from the discomfort. Quickly, Austin grabbed a wastebasket and held it for her, pulling back her hair. She dry-heaved and her stomach released bile. 

Austin was now smiling, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Oh my God, Si! I thought..I thought-” 

She held up her hand and shook her head, shivering. “Austin, please, not now.” 

Her voice cracked in multiple places making Austin frown. He broke down crying again. He was such a baby sometimes. 

“Sienna, I love you very much.” he breathed, his voice shaking. Sienna looked at him, wiping her mouth slightly. 

“Please, I said not now.” she whined. 

“When would be a good time, then?” Austin shuddered. “You almost died, Sienna.” 

“I wish I died.” she mumbled. Austin stared dumbly at her. 

“Why would you wish that?” Austin was dumbfounded. Sienna looked bitterly at him. 

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